Has your Thanksgiving transformed into Thanksgetting? It is ironic that
when Columbus got lost and landed in Hispaniola and, two hundred years
later the Puritans landed in Plymouth, their true intentions were to
rape, pillage and plunder the land and its aborigines - which they did
with aplomb. 400 years later, we do much the same in department stores
and malls across the country on Black Friday. Pushing, shoving,
knocking, yelling, trampling and pepper spraying seems to be de rigueuer for holiday shopping.
Most
of the "deal" items for which we fight over and wait in long lines for
are electronic items built from inferior components which won't last
long, but, a $98 32" TV is a $98 32" TV.
There are also brand
items listed at sale prices but those sale prices are usually the
store's target price to begin with. A store may pay $5 for an item.
They want to get $15 for it so they charge $30. If you pay $30 for it
at any time during the year, they win. If they take 50% off on Black
Friday, they still win. They're actually getting what they wanted in
the first place. If they take 75% off, they're still making money.
They depend upon the ignorance of the consumer to overpay year round.
JC
Penny once tried charging their lower targeted price for their
merchandise but people stopped shopping there. People want sales
because they think they are getting a bargain. They would rather get a
50% discount and pay $15 for an item than pay full price for it at JC
Penny and pay $15. JC Penny quickly raised their prices and began
offering discounts shortly thereafter.
The other holiday trap is
the recommendation. Reviewers, reporters and celebrities get free
stuff all the time with the hope that they will plug the item to their
legions of followers and fans in return for the gift. I was watching
the news and a reporter did a segment which proffered holiday shopping
ideas and bargains. First of all, why was this news? Second, what
qualifications did this 24 year old reporter have to offer advice on
electronics and comparative shopping?
She said that a hot item
this year is the tablet. Without discussing anything else, she said the
best tablet on the market is the iPad. Of course she did. She
probably got one for free. What if I only want to listen to audio books
or read ebooks on my tablet? Do I still need the most expensive tablet
on the market or will the $89 tablet work for me?
Even if you
want to use a tablet for surfing the net, checking email, playing games,
watching movies and reading books, do you still need the most expensive
tablet on the market or would one of the less expensive brands
suffice? Do you get more because you pay more?
Of course there
are dozens of variables and options ranging from memory, speed, screen
size, touch variations, free apps, OS, accessories, etcetera. Each
variable can add or subtract from the cost. You need to know what you
want to do and if that particular tablet can do it. Do you want to pay
more for features you won't use? If you don't live near the Autobahn,
do you need a Bugatti which can travel at speeds over 250 mph? If you
do live near the Autobahn, would you be happy with a Aixam Coupe or Tata
Nano? When it comes to buying and using computers (and cars), I would
rather drive a slow car fast than pay a fortune to drive a fast car
slow.
I'm not ashamed to admit that I have a Zenithink C97 and
C93 tablet. They have no limitations as a tablet for my needs, and for
the crafty shopper, you can pick them up for as low as $100 and $150.
However, if Apple would like to send me a free iPad, I may change my
mind.
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Music From "The Price Is Right"
It is safe to say that if not for the music from the TV game show, "The Price is Right," I might not be a musician today. There were many factors which planted and germinated my nascent desire to be a musician. The first was my Roman Catholic church closing. They had a folk group and a pretty bad one at that. The music did nothing for my latent inspiration and church was boring. When the church closed my parents took us to the next church down the road, the Wesleyan's. There, for the first time, around the age of five, I heard and fell in love with the sound of a well played pipe organ. It was loud and soft, dissonant and harmonically pleasing, capable of being played fast and rhythmic or sustained. It shook the walls, the floor and the pews. What power and versatility it possessed.
It wasn't until my freshman year of High School, about ten years later, that I actually began studying music and that was because my parents purchased a small organ. Prior to that though, during my junior high years I fell in love with the pop/disco/jazz music from Bob Barker's game show, The Price Is Right. We didn't have the internet in those days so three TV stations, a few radio stations and records were all we had for inspiration and entertainment.
I lived three miles from my school and my house was the last stop on the bus route. It took almost an hour to get home. So instead of taking the bus and missing the first half hour of "The Price Is Right," I ran home in about half an hour and was able to catch the beginning. Don't tell my mother, she'd kill me if she found out and lucky for me, she never learned those "If Sally was traveling at 30 mph by car . . . ." equations. She didn't question how or why I got home half an hour early, although, I suspect she knew. The act of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook. She certainly possessed an uncanny wisdom.
I hated gym class because three days each week, it sapped my energy for what was really important to me: Running to get home in time for the opening theme song. And, we were also required to take showers which was stupid because I was about to run home and work up a real sweat.
It is also safe to say that I also owe my early physical fitness to "The Price Is Right," too. I am sorry President's Council on Physical Fitness, but gym class was a waste of time. I also skied, hiked, biked and lived on a lake. I barely worked up a sweat in gym class and most of my out of school time was spent doing real activities. I really could have used that three hours spent in gym class doing something more productive.
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Happy National Day of Mourning
How are you planning to celebrate the National Day of Mourning? Food?
Feast? Football? Family? Pre-Black Friday shopping? Will you spend
time with your children cutting out hand traced turkeys and making
Pilgrim hats? Baking? Skyping distant relatives? Visiting with
relatives?
Since the winners write the history books, children are taught in school that the National Day of Mourning was a day when "Indians," also known as Native Americans or, members of the Wampanoag tribe to be exact, sat down with "pilgrims" who were thankful for "discovering" the new land, making friends with the Wampanoag tribe, escaping religious persecution and sharing a meal of peace, love and joy. Amen.
Some stories are just that, stories. About the only thing true with that nice story is that the Wampanoag's were helpful to the European strangers who landed on their shore. The truth is that the white settlers in Jamestown had to resort to cannibalism to survive and it was the Wampanoag tribe who helped them get through the bitter winter, mostly to prevent the white settlers from digging up Wampanoag graves.
Columbus didn't discover North America, or Plymouth. He got lost and stumbled upon the island of Haiti where there was already an indigenous people there. Christopher wrote in his log that he was thankful for the bounty of human cargo God gave him and then enslaved, raped and murdered most of the tribe. They were the Arawak. Furthermore, it was the Vikings, not Columbus, who first made contact with Native Americans in the area known today as Boston. Leif Erikson was the first European and the first Christian to plant his feet on American soil 500 years earlier than Chris and, as such, he deserves more a place in the history of our country than Columbus does.
Back to the Pilgrim mythology, they did not come here to escape religious persecution (much like what they inflicted on the American Indians who already had their own religion) but they came here as part of a commercial venture. It is also true that the pitiful settlers would not have survived here had it not been for the aid of the Wampanoag tribe. What did the Wampanoag get in return? Mass murder, forced relocation, theft of land, alcoholism, disease, starvation, genocide, jail and repression. All that, for which we are apparently thankful, spread across the continent as the Europeans pushed westward and did much the same to all other tribes.
The government gave settlers free land on the outskirts of their new cities and settlements. Many poor farmers, their families and prospectors took advantage of the free land and began spreading west. The Native Americans would protest and push back. The settlers complained to the military who would then come out and confront the Native Americans. This did not end well for the "Indians." We would kill one of them and they would come back and kill one of our settlers. We would go back and kill five of them. They would come back and kill five of us in return. We would go back and kill twenty five of them, and on it went. As settlers encroached into Native American lands, the Native Americans attacked. Atrocities took place on both sides. When certain Native American villages refused to surrender the "savages" accused of murdering whites, Andrew Jackson ordered entire villages destroyed. The free land given to families also created a buffer zone. If the Native Americans attacked, they would attack the outskirts first, protecting the cities and towns and wealthier class. After all, as it is today, the poor are expendable and very useful for political gain. Hitler used the Jews, the Puritans used "witches." Harry Anslinger used blacks and jazz musicians, and politicians today continue disenfranchising the underclass for their own political gain.
The first official "Day of Thanksgiving" was proclaimed in 1637 by Governor Winthrop. He did so to celebrate the safe return of men from Massachusetts who had gone to Mystic, Connecticut to participate in the massacre of over 700 Pequot women, children, and men.
Thanksgiving is by far the greatest monument to racism. There are many people who would say that these events happened over 300 years ago and it is not their fault. This is true. We can at least demand that our schools teach the truth and that we acknowledge the terrorism and genocide our ancestors committed - for religious freedom. We don't need to give up our Thanksgiving customs, traditions, Black Friday sales and parades, but let us at least know that for the Native American culture that this day is for them, the National Day of Mourning and that they have little to be thankful for.
For Further reading - HISTORY IS A WEAPON
http://www.historyisaweapon.com/defcon1/zinncol1.html
"The greatest single acts of terrorism to date were not perpetrated by Osama bin Laden, but by the US military when it dropped atomic bombs on the civilian people of Hiroshima and Nagasaki."
From a speech by Moonanum James on the 32nd National Day of Mourning, 2001.
Ever hear about Evacuation Day?
http://www.thedailyshow.com/full-episodes/fri-november-22-2013-
Since the winners write the history books, children are taught in school that the National Day of Mourning was a day when "Indians," also known as Native Americans or, members of the Wampanoag tribe to be exact, sat down with "pilgrims" who were thankful for "discovering" the new land, making friends with the Wampanoag tribe, escaping religious persecution and sharing a meal of peace, love and joy. Amen.
Some stories are just that, stories. About the only thing true with that nice story is that the Wampanoag's were helpful to the European strangers who landed on their shore. The truth is that the white settlers in Jamestown had to resort to cannibalism to survive and it was the Wampanoag tribe who helped them get through the bitter winter, mostly to prevent the white settlers from digging up Wampanoag graves.
Columbus didn't discover North America, or Plymouth. He got lost and stumbled upon the island of Haiti where there was already an indigenous people there. Christopher wrote in his log that he was thankful for the bounty of human cargo God gave him and then enslaved, raped and murdered most of the tribe. They were the Arawak. Furthermore, it was the Vikings, not Columbus, who first made contact with Native Americans in the area known today as Boston. Leif Erikson was the first European and the first Christian to plant his feet on American soil 500 years earlier than Chris and, as such, he deserves more a place in the history of our country than Columbus does.
Back to the Pilgrim mythology, they did not come here to escape religious persecution (much like what they inflicted on the American Indians who already had their own religion) but they came here as part of a commercial venture. It is also true that the pitiful settlers would not have survived here had it not been for the aid of the Wampanoag tribe. What did the Wampanoag get in return? Mass murder, forced relocation, theft of land, alcoholism, disease, starvation, genocide, jail and repression. All that, for which we are apparently thankful, spread across the continent as the Europeans pushed westward and did much the same to all other tribes.
The government gave settlers free land on the outskirts of their new cities and settlements. Many poor farmers, their families and prospectors took advantage of the free land and began spreading west. The Native Americans would protest and push back. The settlers complained to the military who would then come out and confront the Native Americans. This did not end well for the "Indians." We would kill one of them and they would come back and kill one of our settlers. We would go back and kill five of them. They would come back and kill five of us in return. We would go back and kill twenty five of them, and on it went. As settlers encroached into Native American lands, the Native Americans attacked. Atrocities took place on both sides. When certain Native American villages refused to surrender the "savages" accused of murdering whites, Andrew Jackson ordered entire villages destroyed. The free land given to families also created a buffer zone. If the Native Americans attacked, they would attack the outskirts first, protecting the cities and towns and wealthier class. After all, as it is today, the poor are expendable and very useful for political gain. Hitler used the Jews, the Puritans used "witches." Harry Anslinger used blacks and jazz musicians, and politicians today continue disenfranchising the underclass for their own political gain.
The first official "Day of Thanksgiving" was proclaimed in 1637 by Governor Winthrop. He did so to celebrate the safe return of men from Massachusetts who had gone to Mystic, Connecticut to participate in the massacre of over 700 Pequot women, children, and men.
Thanksgiving is by far the greatest monument to racism. There are many people who would say that these events happened over 300 years ago and it is not their fault. This is true. We can at least demand that our schools teach the truth and that we acknowledge the terrorism and genocide our ancestors committed - for religious freedom. We don't need to give up our Thanksgiving customs, traditions, Black Friday sales and parades, but let us at least know that for the Native American culture that this day is for them, the National Day of Mourning and that they have little to be thankful for.
For Further reading - HISTORY IS A WEAPON
http://www.historyisaweapon.com/defcon1/zinncol1.html
"The greatest single acts of terrorism to date were not perpetrated by Osama bin Laden, but by the US military when it dropped atomic bombs on the civilian people of Hiroshima and Nagasaki."
From a speech by Moonanum James on the 32nd National Day of Mourning, 2001.
Ever hear about Evacuation Day?
http://www.thedailyshow.com/full-episodes/fri-november-22-2013-
Saturday, November 23, 2013
Heal Thyself; An Ounce of Prevention
ARRGH. I recently went hiking with a couple of friends and one of the
hikers is a high school gym teacher. I hiked in silent horror as he
offered endless advice to his teenage son, daughter and the rest of us
about technical issues and body mechanics. This man has a Masters in PE
and is professionally teaching kids - to harm their bodies.
The first bit of bad advice he gave was regarding warm ups. He led our group in unsolicited stretching exercises. I stood by and watched. He admonished me to participate saying that if I don't warm up, I will injure myself. This is true. However, after getting out of my toasty bed that morning, I sat in my sauna for forty five minutes, took a hot shower, ate a hot breakfast and drove to the mountain base with my car's heat on full blast. My entire body was warm to the core and raring to go. But I waited patiently.
When you stretch muscles, you are tearing tissue so the body has two defensive actions. The first is to rush blood to the area of damage to begin repair. This sudden rush of blood gives a feeling of warmth. You are not really "warming up" the existing tissue (nor the whole body). You are actually destabilizing isolated parts with micro tears which CAN lead to injury. It is better to warm the entire body with heat rather than isolating body parts and foolishly think you are warming up by tearing muscle tissue. The second defensive action of the body is inflammation which leads to the next bit of bad advice.
While hiking, his son sprained his ankle - despite being "warmed up." Dad, without looking at it immediately told him to "walk it off." Provided there were no broken bones or torn tendons, walking it off does have some merit.
If you overuse or injure a body part such as a tendon, the body's response is to do a quick fix by putting scar tissue there. This however, could lock or freeze up parts which were designed to move. In the old days doctors would put your body part in a cast, splint or brace. When the immobilization device was finally removed, the body would be stiff and it would take weeks, months or even years to get full mobility back - if. Many doctors today favor using simple tape on the injured limb so that the body can still move in its mid range of motion and not to the extreme range of motion where further damage can occur. A stretch for instance is an extreme range of motion.
Maintaining gentle mid range movement keeps tendon sheaths lubricated with synovium fluid, prevents scar tissue from forming and tethering a tendon to its sheath and, promotes circulation so that blood can carry away toxins and damaged tissue which are created by our injury or stretch. Most people can recognize this simple fact after sitting in a car for a long time or resting in the middle of some physical activity. When they get back up, their body is stiff. Our circulatory systems are designed to circulate. Why do you think a "deer longs for flowing streams?" Flowing water is fresh. Stagnant water is, well, stagnant. So, walking it off is good provided there is no serious damage.
Both a friend of mine and myself fell around the same time and both of us injured our right wrists. Both of us had swelling and bruising. He wore a brace and I decided to take advantage of the wonderful pain to work on proper body mechanics. Although my wrist hurt and was tender to the touch, I was still able to play the piano without pain and playing actually made my wrist feel better because I was able to use it and not aggravate it. Here is a link to a video of me playing a recital just two weeks later.
Flight of the Bumblebee
http://youtu.be/A1FHmgkwi2U
I admit there were a few problems in my performance but the reason I was still able to play was that I wasn't using my wrist but moving my fingers by using my long flexors and employing the rotation of my forearm. I am pretty much pain free right now but I still can't dorsiflex but, why would I want to do that to my carpal tunnel? My friend is still wearing a brace today and has limited mobility and great stiffness. The difference between us is that I used my body mechanics to promote healing and he is using the stagnation/immobilization method to heal. I offered some advice but some people won't listen. He's gobbling down ibuprofen and wearing a brace.
Back to the hike. When we returned to the parking lot, our teenager took off his shoe and sock to reveal a purple and swollen ankle: a gorgeous example of nature's cast. Dad told him that when they got home he could ice it and elevate it. That's fair. Treating symptoms can make you feel better but doesn't fix problems. If your car's tires have uneven wear, getting new tires will treat the symptom but not the problem of the car's alignment. The first thing this boy needed was an x-ray to ensure there was nothing broken or fractured. I suggested that the boy put both his feet in a contrast bath and Dad, who has a Masters in PE asked, "What's that?"
If my kid's teacher or coach ever suggested stretching and warm ups in this manner, I'd find a new coach. Sure I could try to educate them but some egos are too big to admit they are wrong or to change. That is the beauty of making mistakes but only a few of us can learn from them. Touch a hot stove and you may never do that again. Get caught stealing and maybe the shame will make you never do it again. Sprain your wrist and maybe you will analyze what hurts and what doesn't and you will discover your body's optimal alignment and be better at everything you do - or you can wear a brace and heal in time.
We've all heard the stories of a seeker who ascends a mountain to get an answer from a Zen Master at the top. When the seeker arrives at the top, finds the Zen Master and asks his question, the Master doesn't answer. That is because if you don't discover the answer on the journey, you won't understand the answer if it is given to you. The answer is: Don't seek the truth - just drop your opinions and the answer will come to you. A friend of mine is a great songwriter but he is not a musician. The reason he can come up with beautiful melodies is that his mind is not cluttered with theory, style, propriety or technique.
Ultimately the newly minted resilience of youth is powerful. Kids will heal and come back. But when they turn fifty, and their joints begin to stiffen and become sore, they move and exercise less, they begin to put on weight which stresses the joints further, they develop arthritis and tendonitis, diabetes, clogged arteries and shortness of breath - know that it all started thirty years ago with a stretch and a warm up.
"When the task is done beforehand, then everything else is easy."
-Zen master Yuan-tong.
The first bit of bad advice he gave was regarding warm ups. He led our group in unsolicited stretching exercises. I stood by and watched. He admonished me to participate saying that if I don't warm up, I will injure myself. This is true. However, after getting out of my toasty bed that morning, I sat in my sauna for forty five minutes, took a hot shower, ate a hot breakfast and drove to the mountain base with my car's heat on full blast. My entire body was warm to the core and raring to go. But I waited patiently.
When you stretch muscles, you are tearing tissue so the body has two defensive actions. The first is to rush blood to the area of damage to begin repair. This sudden rush of blood gives a feeling of warmth. You are not really "warming up" the existing tissue (nor the whole body). You are actually destabilizing isolated parts with micro tears which CAN lead to injury. It is better to warm the entire body with heat rather than isolating body parts and foolishly think you are warming up by tearing muscle tissue. The second defensive action of the body is inflammation which leads to the next bit of bad advice.
While hiking, his son sprained his ankle - despite being "warmed up." Dad, without looking at it immediately told him to "walk it off." Provided there were no broken bones or torn tendons, walking it off does have some merit.
If you overuse or injure a body part such as a tendon, the body's response is to do a quick fix by putting scar tissue there. This however, could lock or freeze up parts which were designed to move. In the old days doctors would put your body part in a cast, splint or brace. When the immobilization device was finally removed, the body would be stiff and it would take weeks, months or even years to get full mobility back - if. Many doctors today favor using simple tape on the injured limb so that the body can still move in its mid range of motion and not to the extreme range of motion where further damage can occur. A stretch for instance is an extreme range of motion.
Maintaining gentle mid range movement keeps tendon sheaths lubricated with synovium fluid, prevents scar tissue from forming and tethering a tendon to its sheath and, promotes circulation so that blood can carry away toxins and damaged tissue which are created by our injury or stretch. Most people can recognize this simple fact after sitting in a car for a long time or resting in the middle of some physical activity. When they get back up, their body is stiff. Our circulatory systems are designed to circulate. Why do you think a "deer longs for flowing streams?" Flowing water is fresh. Stagnant water is, well, stagnant. So, walking it off is good provided there is no serious damage.
Both a friend of mine and myself fell around the same time and both of us injured our right wrists. Both of us had swelling and bruising. He wore a brace and I decided to take advantage of the wonderful pain to work on proper body mechanics. Although my wrist hurt and was tender to the touch, I was still able to play the piano without pain and playing actually made my wrist feel better because I was able to use it and not aggravate it. Here is a link to a video of me playing a recital just two weeks later.
Flight of the Bumblebee
http://youtu.be/A1FHmgkwi2U
I admit there were a few problems in my performance but the reason I was still able to play was that I wasn't using my wrist but moving my fingers by using my long flexors and employing the rotation of my forearm. I am pretty much pain free right now but I still can't dorsiflex but, why would I want to do that to my carpal tunnel? My friend is still wearing a brace today and has limited mobility and great stiffness. The difference between us is that I used my body mechanics to promote healing and he is using the stagnation/immobilization method to heal. I offered some advice but some people won't listen. He's gobbling down ibuprofen and wearing a brace.
Back to the hike. When we returned to the parking lot, our teenager took off his shoe and sock to reveal a purple and swollen ankle: a gorgeous example of nature's cast. Dad told him that when they got home he could ice it and elevate it. That's fair. Treating symptoms can make you feel better but doesn't fix problems. If your car's tires have uneven wear, getting new tires will treat the symptom but not the problem of the car's alignment. The first thing this boy needed was an x-ray to ensure there was nothing broken or fractured. I suggested that the boy put both his feet in a contrast bath and Dad, who has a Masters in PE asked, "What's that?"
If my kid's teacher or coach ever suggested stretching and warm ups in this manner, I'd find a new coach. Sure I could try to educate them but some egos are too big to admit they are wrong or to change. That is the beauty of making mistakes but only a few of us can learn from them. Touch a hot stove and you may never do that again. Get caught stealing and maybe the shame will make you never do it again. Sprain your wrist and maybe you will analyze what hurts and what doesn't and you will discover your body's optimal alignment and be better at everything you do - or you can wear a brace and heal in time.
We've all heard the stories of a seeker who ascends a mountain to get an answer from a Zen Master at the top. When the seeker arrives at the top, finds the Zen Master and asks his question, the Master doesn't answer. That is because if you don't discover the answer on the journey, you won't understand the answer if it is given to you. The answer is: Don't seek the truth - just drop your opinions and the answer will come to you. A friend of mine is a great songwriter but he is not a musician. The reason he can come up with beautiful melodies is that his mind is not cluttered with theory, style, propriety or technique.
Ultimately the newly minted resilience of youth is powerful. Kids will heal and come back. But when they turn fifty, and their joints begin to stiffen and become sore, they move and exercise less, they begin to put on weight which stresses the joints further, they develop arthritis and tendonitis, diabetes, clogged arteries and shortness of breath - know that it all started thirty years ago with a stretch and a warm up.
"When the task is done beforehand, then everything else is easy."
-Zen master Yuan-tong.
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Mass Confusion
I often hear people complain about how boring church is or that the
prayers are long and boring, or even that the pastor says the same
prayers each week. I'd like to offer some insight and possibly change
your perception of prayer and church.
Things can be boring for people for several reasons. Take a baseball game. If you know nothing about baseball, of course it may be boring especially if you were dragged to a game. Every game is the same, some could say. If you do know how the game is played you can appreciate it. If your city owns a team you may have patriotism for the team because of this geography. If you have a friend, child, sibling on the team or if you enjoy playing yourself, you will find tremendous interest in the game. You will be interested because you are somehow connected to it and understand it.
Just being present at the game can be boring so, most of us, when we go to a game we engage in active participation. We are not playing the actual game but we are cheering, booing, standing or stomping. Some of us may hold our breath while someone is up to bat or if the ball looks like it is going to go out of the stadium. We talk about what is going on with the people around us. We make note of the score, the innings, the balls, fowls, who is up to bat, how many people are on the bases and which ones. This is all important information. Simply paying attention to what is going on makes the game interesting for us because our minds and maybe our bodies are actively participating.
"Church is boring because the pastor says the same prayers each week." Well, is a baseball game boring because the team uses the same players each game, they run the same bases, the same balls, often in the same stadium, the same innings? Yet, why is every game new and fresh for many people each week? Each game, borne of the same matrix, is different. Even though everything is the same, somehow everything is different.
How come we can listen to a favorite song over and over again? Why don't we get bored with it? The answer is because we actively participate with it. We may listen to the lyrics, tap our foot, sing along, or simply get lost in the flow. As a musician, I can listen to the same song every day but each day hear something different. Why? Because each day I am a different person. I may be more alert or more tired. I may be in a good mood or a bad mood. I often find myself breathing with the performers. A lyric may resonate more deeply with me because something new happened in my life. I never thought my football playing-car mechanic friend, William, would sing nursery rhymes but now he sits with his four your old singing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" complete with hand movements. Why this new full and active participation with nursery rhymes when four years ago his satellite radio was always tuned to Ozzy's Boneyard? Something changed him. He became aware of something.
So how can you fully and actively participate in the boring prayers the pastor or priest says each Sunday when all you do is stand there? I'm going to break apart the most boring of prayers: The Eucharistic Prayer. It is long and boring and exists in most churches in most denominations in some form or another. You'll probably be surprised that most of these segments have their own names and movements. Watch your clergy and what they do with their hands and gestures as they plow through this prayer.
The first part of this prayer is the Kaddosh. It is the opportunity for you to enter into the holy. The cleric says "Lift up your hearts" and our response is "We lift them up unto the Lord." But do we? This little segment of prayer goes by very fast and there isn't much time to "enter into the Holy." When you enter a baseball stadium there are a few thousand people there and it is noisy. You can probably feel the excitement of the crowd and within yourself almost immediately. When Isaiah entered into heaven in his dream, there were thousands of angels there singing. What is holy and sacred to you that gives you a special feeling? Was it being present at the birth of your child? Scaling the summit of some great mountain and taking in the view? Could it be holding the hand of a loved one as they pass away? Is it like watching the sunset with someone you adore? Whatever it is, you need to know it and practice it so when your cleric invites you to lift your heart into a holy place, you can do it. To further augment this action of your mind, heart and soul, consider lifting your hands a little as you say "We lift them unto the Lord."
The next part of the Eucharistic Prayer is the Eucharistia or, the giving thanks. Here the clergy will recite some of the wonderful things God has done. If someone does something nice for us, it is common to actively participate with them by saying "thank you." So as the pastor reads a list of wonderful things God has done, think to yourself "thank you." So, it may sound something like this: Father in heaven, it is right that we give you thanks and glory. You made the universe (thank you), you put an end to death (thank you), you created all things (thank you), you do not abandon us (thank you), you invite us to serve the family of mankind (thank you), your spirit changes our hearts (thank you), nations seek peace (thank you), you put and end to strife (thank you), you've created the moon and stars (thank you), you created all living creatures (thank you). A lot of times the clergy will read or recite these things which we should be thankful for way too fast for us to think about them or even think "thank you" to ourselves. For this I am sorry for, even clergy can be bored, not know what they are doing or even want to get out of there.
This section ends with the reference of Isaiah dreaming about being in heaven and he hears the choir of angels singing. What are they singing? "Holy, Holy, Holy" or the Sanctus. Here, we can fully and actively participate by singing that same song which has been sung for thousands of years. Know this, singing oxygenates our blood which goes to our brains and muscles. If you sing, you can't help but be a different person as your body too, becomes transformed and energized by fresh oxygenated red blood. A transubstantiation of sorts.
The next part is called the Epiclesis or, evoking the Spirit to transform and sanctify all things especially the gifts. What is the greatest gift you can offer God? No it is not your money in the collection plate but, your self. Here a priest will say something like "We come to you Father with praise and thanksgiving through Jesus your Son. Through him we ask you to accept and bless these gifts we offer you in sacrifice." The priest will then do a sign of the cross over "the gifts." I was in a Protestant church once where the pastor did the sign to the congregation. That was powerful for me. It meant that all the gifts I offer in sacrifice such as volunteering at the hospital, the homeless shelter or answering the suicide hotline - are blessed and sanctified by the Holy Spirit. When Jesus was baptized, the heavens opened up and the Holy Spirit descended upon him "like a dove." This is your opportunity to also be sanctified by the gifts you offer God. What did you offer God? Was it money? I bet it was money. Some churches love money.
The next part for you to participate in is the Institutional Narrative or Anamnesis. This is the story telling time. It is the time to remember and participate in what Jesus did by re-telling his story. Have you ever gone camping and sat around the fire and listened to people tell stories? That is what this is like except our fire consists of a few candles. I bet each one of us can remember huge childhood meals with our family such as Thanksgiving where the turkey is carved, bread is broken (and smeared with butter), dishes are passed, wine is poured . . . This is the Institutional Narrative and it tells of the day before Jesus suffers, he takes bread, looks to heaven, gives thanks and breaks it and passes it. He then says to "Do this in memory of me." Do we? Or, are these just words whizzing by at breakneck speed? We then actively participate by saying or singing an acclamation of memorial, "Christ has died, Christ is risen, Christ will come again." I hope you're ready.
The next part which goes by quickly is the Offering or Anaphora. It is the invitation or offering our gifts and self with, in and through Christ. We ask God to look with favor upon these offerings and accept them.
The next long section goes way too fast. It is the intercession to include all our friends, relatives, living or dead in this action of salvation even if they are not present. We ask God (and ourselves) to remember the church, a list of clergy, maybe a dash of politicians, in the Roman Catholic church a specific person whose family paid the priest to mention them, all our brothers and sisters who have gone to their eternal rest, maybe a list of people in our congregation who are ill, Mary, the apostles and all the saints. I say that this section, despite its length, goes too fast because when it comes time to remember my deceased relatives, there are far too many to think about in the one second the cleric as allotted me.
Even more rapid is the Doxology where we praise God in union with everyone just mentioned and give God glory through his Son, Jesus Christ. If you are quick, you can sneak in a thought of praise to God for everyone and everything just mentioned.
The next part is the Renewal of the Covenant. This is the moment of truth. A covenant is a binding agreement. It is your contract with God. A verbal handshake. If you break a contract in everyday life you could be sued, forced to pay restitution, fired or even sent to prison. Break this contract with God - He'll give you another chance next week - He is not as vengeful and punitive we humans are. Your acceptance of everything God promises you is your saying "Amen." In return, your "Amen" is a promise to God to live, be and spread the Good News. That means you won't leave church and judge others, ostracize, abandon, ignore, cheat or lie. You will use the gift or yourself to feed, clothe, visit, heal and comfort. Don't say "Amen" if you don't intend to hold up your end of the bargain. That would mean your word is worthless. Even though God will forgive you, your word is still worthless and you will know it. That is why this is called "The Great Amen." If you beleive in the salvific power of this prayer and the resurrection, this is a life and death proposition. Will you break this contract when you leave the church parking lot and someone cuts in front of you? How do you feel when you break your word? Buddha called that karma.
Prayer is not something to stand there and listen to, it is something you do even if it is only in your own mind. To sum up your full and active participation in the act of worshiping God during the Eucharistic Prayer, it involves: entering that place which is holy, giving thanks to God several times for what he has done, invoking the Spirit of God upon us (or the gifts), listening to the stories and giving them meaning, offering in Thanksgiving, interceding for those who are not here and remembering each of them, giving thanks, and finally, renewing the covenant and affirming it with an amen. And of course, keeping your word the rest of the week.
Hopefully if you want to fully and actively participate in the prayers that your clergy is reciting, he will be going slow enough so that you can take the time to respond and remember and affirm in your own mind what he is saying. If he is going too fast or you don't really care to participate, may the force be with you, na-new na-new.
If you do fully and actively participate, you'll leave church a different person, a better person a more compassionate person. A person trying to be better. A Eucharistic person. A person of transubstantiation. A person of metanoia.
Things can be boring for people for several reasons. Take a baseball game. If you know nothing about baseball, of course it may be boring especially if you were dragged to a game. Every game is the same, some could say. If you do know how the game is played you can appreciate it. If your city owns a team you may have patriotism for the team because of this geography. If you have a friend, child, sibling on the team or if you enjoy playing yourself, you will find tremendous interest in the game. You will be interested because you are somehow connected to it and understand it.
Just being present at the game can be boring so, most of us, when we go to a game we engage in active participation. We are not playing the actual game but we are cheering, booing, standing or stomping. Some of us may hold our breath while someone is up to bat or if the ball looks like it is going to go out of the stadium. We talk about what is going on with the people around us. We make note of the score, the innings, the balls, fowls, who is up to bat, how many people are on the bases and which ones. This is all important information. Simply paying attention to what is going on makes the game interesting for us because our minds and maybe our bodies are actively participating.
"Church is boring because the pastor says the same prayers each week." Well, is a baseball game boring because the team uses the same players each game, they run the same bases, the same balls, often in the same stadium, the same innings? Yet, why is every game new and fresh for many people each week? Each game, borne of the same matrix, is different. Even though everything is the same, somehow everything is different.
How come we can listen to a favorite song over and over again? Why don't we get bored with it? The answer is because we actively participate with it. We may listen to the lyrics, tap our foot, sing along, or simply get lost in the flow. As a musician, I can listen to the same song every day but each day hear something different. Why? Because each day I am a different person. I may be more alert or more tired. I may be in a good mood or a bad mood. I often find myself breathing with the performers. A lyric may resonate more deeply with me because something new happened in my life. I never thought my football playing-car mechanic friend, William, would sing nursery rhymes but now he sits with his four your old singing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" complete with hand movements. Why this new full and active participation with nursery rhymes when four years ago his satellite radio was always tuned to Ozzy's Boneyard? Something changed him. He became aware of something.
So how can you fully and actively participate in the boring prayers the pastor or priest says each Sunday when all you do is stand there? I'm going to break apart the most boring of prayers: The Eucharistic Prayer. It is long and boring and exists in most churches in most denominations in some form or another. You'll probably be surprised that most of these segments have their own names and movements. Watch your clergy and what they do with their hands and gestures as they plow through this prayer.
The first part of this prayer is the Kaddosh. It is the opportunity for you to enter into the holy. The cleric says "Lift up your hearts" and our response is "We lift them up unto the Lord." But do we? This little segment of prayer goes by very fast and there isn't much time to "enter into the Holy." When you enter a baseball stadium there are a few thousand people there and it is noisy. You can probably feel the excitement of the crowd and within yourself almost immediately. When Isaiah entered into heaven in his dream, there were thousands of angels there singing. What is holy and sacred to you that gives you a special feeling? Was it being present at the birth of your child? Scaling the summit of some great mountain and taking in the view? Could it be holding the hand of a loved one as they pass away? Is it like watching the sunset with someone you adore? Whatever it is, you need to know it and practice it so when your cleric invites you to lift your heart into a holy place, you can do it. To further augment this action of your mind, heart and soul, consider lifting your hands a little as you say "We lift them unto the Lord."
The next part of the Eucharistic Prayer is the Eucharistia or, the giving thanks. Here the clergy will recite some of the wonderful things God has done. If someone does something nice for us, it is common to actively participate with them by saying "thank you." So as the pastor reads a list of wonderful things God has done, think to yourself "thank you." So, it may sound something like this: Father in heaven, it is right that we give you thanks and glory. You made the universe (thank you), you put an end to death (thank you), you created all things (thank you), you do not abandon us (thank you), you invite us to serve the family of mankind (thank you), your spirit changes our hearts (thank you), nations seek peace (thank you), you put and end to strife (thank you), you've created the moon and stars (thank you), you created all living creatures (thank you). A lot of times the clergy will read or recite these things which we should be thankful for way too fast for us to think about them or even think "thank you" to ourselves. For this I am sorry for, even clergy can be bored, not know what they are doing or even want to get out of there.
This section ends with the reference of Isaiah dreaming about being in heaven and he hears the choir of angels singing. What are they singing? "Holy, Holy, Holy" or the Sanctus. Here, we can fully and actively participate by singing that same song which has been sung for thousands of years. Know this, singing oxygenates our blood which goes to our brains and muscles. If you sing, you can't help but be a different person as your body too, becomes transformed and energized by fresh oxygenated red blood. A transubstantiation of sorts.
The next part is called the Epiclesis or, evoking the Spirit to transform and sanctify all things especially the gifts. What is the greatest gift you can offer God? No it is not your money in the collection plate but, your self. Here a priest will say something like "We come to you Father with praise and thanksgiving through Jesus your Son. Through him we ask you to accept and bless these gifts we offer you in sacrifice." The priest will then do a sign of the cross over "the gifts." I was in a Protestant church once where the pastor did the sign to the congregation. That was powerful for me. It meant that all the gifts I offer in sacrifice such as volunteering at the hospital, the homeless shelter or answering the suicide hotline - are blessed and sanctified by the Holy Spirit. When Jesus was baptized, the heavens opened up and the Holy Spirit descended upon him "like a dove." This is your opportunity to also be sanctified by the gifts you offer God. What did you offer God? Was it money? I bet it was money. Some churches love money.
The next part for you to participate in is the Institutional Narrative or Anamnesis. This is the story telling time. It is the time to remember and participate in what Jesus did by re-telling his story. Have you ever gone camping and sat around the fire and listened to people tell stories? That is what this is like except our fire consists of a few candles. I bet each one of us can remember huge childhood meals with our family such as Thanksgiving where the turkey is carved, bread is broken (and smeared with butter), dishes are passed, wine is poured . . . This is the Institutional Narrative and it tells of the day before Jesus suffers, he takes bread, looks to heaven, gives thanks and breaks it and passes it. He then says to "Do this in memory of me." Do we? Or, are these just words whizzing by at breakneck speed? We then actively participate by saying or singing an acclamation of memorial, "Christ has died, Christ is risen, Christ will come again." I hope you're ready.
The next part which goes by quickly is the Offering or Anaphora. It is the invitation or offering our gifts and self with, in and through Christ. We ask God to look with favor upon these offerings and accept them.
The next long section goes way too fast. It is the intercession to include all our friends, relatives, living or dead in this action of salvation even if they are not present. We ask God (and ourselves) to remember the church, a list of clergy, maybe a dash of politicians, in the Roman Catholic church a specific person whose family paid the priest to mention them, all our brothers and sisters who have gone to their eternal rest, maybe a list of people in our congregation who are ill, Mary, the apostles and all the saints. I say that this section, despite its length, goes too fast because when it comes time to remember my deceased relatives, there are far too many to think about in the one second the cleric as allotted me.
Even more rapid is the Doxology where we praise God in union with everyone just mentioned and give God glory through his Son, Jesus Christ. If you are quick, you can sneak in a thought of praise to God for everyone and everything just mentioned.
The next part is the Renewal of the Covenant. This is the moment of truth. A covenant is a binding agreement. It is your contract with God. A verbal handshake. If you break a contract in everyday life you could be sued, forced to pay restitution, fired or even sent to prison. Break this contract with God - He'll give you another chance next week - He is not as vengeful and punitive we humans are. Your acceptance of everything God promises you is your saying "Amen." In return, your "Amen" is a promise to God to live, be and spread the Good News. That means you won't leave church and judge others, ostracize, abandon, ignore, cheat or lie. You will use the gift or yourself to feed, clothe, visit, heal and comfort. Don't say "Amen" if you don't intend to hold up your end of the bargain. That would mean your word is worthless. Even though God will forgive you, your word is still worthless and you will know it. That is why this is called "The Great Amen." If you beleive in the salvific power of this prayer and the resurrection, this is a life and death proposition. Will you break this contract when you leave the church parking lot and someone cuts in front of you? How do you feel when you break your word? Buddha called that karma.
Prayer is not something to stand there and listen to, it is something you do even if it is only in your own mind. To sum up your full and active participation in the act of worshiping God during the Eucharistic Prayer, it involves: entering that place which is holy, giving thanks to God several times for what he has done, invoking the Spirit of God upon us (or the gifts), listening to the stories and giving them meaning, offering in Thanksgiving, interceding for those who are not here and remembering each of them, giving thanks, and finally, renewing the covenant and affirming it with an amen. And of course, keeping your word the rest of the week.
Hopefully if you want to fully and actively participate in the prayers that your clergy is reciting, he will be going slow enough so that you can take the time to respond and remember and affirm in your own mind what he is saying. If he is going too fast or you don't really care to participate, may the force be with you, na-new na-new.
If you do fully and actively participate, you'll leave church a different person, a better person a more compassionate person. A person trying to be better. A Eucharistic person. A person of transubstantiation. A person of metanoia.
Saturday, November 16, 2013
The Proper Way To Poop
Many people know that I am a proponent of ergonomic movement especially
where it concerns the arms, hands and fingers. I also employ ergonomic
discipline to my hips, shoulders, knees and ankles. Not only does it
enable effortless movement and greater strength but proper movement
promotes healing. When the body has unhampered nerves, muscles, bones,
tendons and a free flowing oxygenated blood supply, it can heal itself.
I have healed myself and others of carpal tunnel syndrome, tendonitis,
dystonia, bone fractures, fibromyalgia, etcetera.
Ergonomics is not limited to our musculoskeletal systems. Anatomically, humans are designed to squat when pooping. There are people in many cultures who still squat to void or eliminate. It is interesting to note that many of these third world cultures don't suffer from hemorrhoids, constipation, colitis, appendicitis, colon cancer, fistula, diverticulitis or other ailments we civilized Western Culture people do.
It is a popular misconception that a plumber named Thomas Crapper invented the toilet but it is not true. Crapper did not invent the flush toilet. He did, however do much to increase the popularity of the toilet. The toilet was invented by Sir John Harington. Look it up on the URBANLEGENDS website.
The modern toilet is great for people with bad knees and hips but it does nothing to promote good colon health and does everything to hamper it. Consider the garden hose. If you step on it or kink it, the flow of water will diminish considerably. If you look at a picture of your colon, you'll notice a series of kinks. The very last kink before the anus has the puborectalis muscle wrapped around it. This muscle aids in the effort to maintain continence. While you stand or sit, this muscle is engaged and helps to hold everything in.
When you sit on a toilet, you are sitting at a 90 degree angle and the puborectalis muscle is only partially relaxed and still attempting to hold everything in so you have to push to get stuff out. But when you sit at a 30 degree angle, the muscle is fully relaxed and the final bend in the colon is now straight so whatever is in there can now effortlessly fall out.
If you've ever been on the toilet with cramps, you instinctively know that it is more comfortable to curl down so that your chest is touching your knees. That is your body trying to do what it knows is the right thing but the torture device you are sitting on is preventing that for even in this almost proper position the kink in the colon is maintained.
If your home is equipped with a western civilization toilet and not one like you may find in India, for instance, experiment with putting your feet up on a step-stool, stepladder, box or trash can. You should try to sit upright with your knees at a 30 degree angle.
So the next time you feel like the crap was beaten out of you, try this posture and maybe you won't feel so pooped (sorry, I had to do that).
Ergonomics is not limited to our musculoskeletal systems. Anatomically, humans are designed to squat when pooping. There are people in many cultures who still squat to void or eliminate. It is interesting to note that many of these third world cultures don't suffer from hemorrhoids, constipation, colitis, appendicitis, colon cancer, fistula, diverticulitis or other ailments we civilized Western Culture people do.
It is a popular misconception that a plumber named Thomas Crapper invented the toilet but it is not true. Crapper did not invent the flush toilet. He did, however do much to increase the popularity of the toilet. The toilet was invented by Sir John Harington. Look it up on the URBANLEGENDS website.
The modern toilet is great for people with bad knees and hips but it does nothing to promote good colon health and does everything to hamper it. Consider the garden hose. If you step on it or kink it, the flow of water will diminish considerably. If you look at a picture of your colon, you'll notice a series of kinks. The very last kink before the anus has the puborectalis muscle wrapped around it. This muscle aids in the effort to maintain continence. While you stand or sit, this muscle is engaged and helps to hold everything in.
When you sit on a toilet, you are sitting at a 90 degree angle and the puborectalis muscle is only partially relaxed and still attempting to hold everything in so you have to push to get stuff out. But when you sit at a 30 degree angle, the muscle is fully relaxed and the final bend in the colon is now straight so whatever is in there can now effortlessly fall out.
If you've ever been on the toilet with cramps, you instinctively know that it is more comfortable to curl down so that your chest is touching your knees. That is your body trying to do what it knows is the right thing but the torture device you are sitting on is preventing that for even in this almost proper position the kink in the colon is maintained.
If your home is equipped with a western civilization toilet and not one like you may find in India, for instance, experiment with putting your feet up on a step-stool, stepladder, box or trash can. You should try to sit upright with your knees at a 30 degree angle.
So the next time you feel like the crap was beaten out of you, try this posture and maybe you won't feel so pooped (sorry, I had to do that).
Friday, November 15, 2013
While crossing the Brooklyn Bridge with my sister, I fell on bended knee and proposed she ride the Megabus back home with me. She accepted. We then paid $10 for a lock engraved with our names on it, added it to the thousands of other locks, then tossed the key into the river. She later dumped me for the ever agreeable Morgan Freeman at Times Square.
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