Plotterkill Creek, Rotterdam, NY

Feral Cats

Make a turn down my road any sunny day and you may see several cats lying on the warm surface of the asphalt, soaking up the sun.  I counted up to 15 different cats around my house last summer.  Half of them were feral and the other half were cats which were let out by their owners to roam the neighborhood with impunity. 

Domestic cats should not be let outdoors for a variety of reasons.  A friend of mine had a cat which was never allowed outdoors and lived to be 23 years old.  Cats who are allowed to roam the outdoors can contract diseases, parasites, fleas and ticks making their life miserable.  They can get in fights with other cats over territory resulting in injury, disease, pain or even death.  They can and do get hit by cars.  They kill garden plants, flowers and grass as they urinate and defecate in prepared soil.  They hunt and kill indigenous wildlife such as chipmunks, squirrels and birds.  I stopped putting bird seed in my feeder because I was attracting cats and was regularly finding dead birds beneath my deck.  One day I noticed that my 15 foot tall Rose of Sharon was vibrating intermittently.  I walked up to it to inspect the source of the agitation and there was a cat struggling to climb toward a bird's nest way up in the tenderest of branches.  Of course, the number one reason not to let a cat outdoors is that they procreate.  Hence, fifteen cats.

I can report that I no longer have 15 cats roaming my neighborhood.  One local fluffy was hit by a car and another contracted feline AIDS.   Another reason for the wipe out is the increased fox and hawk population (see the attached video I took looking out my back door).  It should also be noted that many predators love cat-meat. 

There was also a drought this past summer.  When people let their cats outside and don't provide a drinking bowl for them, the cat will seek water where they can find it.  In the case of two of my neighbors, their pools. 

One neighbor found a cat drowned in her pool but she wasn't very lucky a few weeks later when she found the second one.  The second cat clawed the lining in an attempt to get out, but failed.  My neighbor had to purchase a new and expensive lining for the pool.  That cat was her own so she couldn't sue anyone for the damages.  Another neighbor found two dead cats in his pool within two days.  One of them managed to climb upon a round blowup life preserver but must have popped it with its claws and due to exhaustion eventually sank to its doom expending all nine lives in one evening. 

There is an apartment complex near me and I know that the owner was getting complaints of rats and mice around his dumpster.  His solution was to put out rat poison.  I am not entirely sure what would happen to a cat who consumed a poisoned mouse but, I bet it can't be good.

I was very saddened when I came home one day in June to find a flyer on my door with the picture of a beautiful kitty named "Einstein."  He has been missing for a few weeks and the neighbor, two blocks up, wrote "He is very much missed!!!!!  Please call." 

Any veterinarian will tell you that an indoor car will live much longer and healthier than an outdoor cat.  I wonder why.  I bet that Einstein knows the fate which befalls frisky, footloose and unfettered fancy free feline. 

Stone and the GED

Stone was another convicted felon I tutored for the procurement of the elusive GED.  He actually graduated from high school but illegally managed to change his name and identity so he consequently had no record of receiving his diploma.  He was of high rank within a formidable gang and for whatever reason, wanted his GED.  Most likely it would simply serve as another form of identification which he could use down the road with one of his many identities.  He was also a very funny guy with a big heart and I loved spending time with him and hearing his stories.   His body was riddled with tattoos, most likely to obfuscate the important ones which delineated rank and meaning within the gang culture.  Despite having endured horrors as a child, his current estate was happy, fun loving and very respectful.

Stone told me about how he was in collusion with a jewelry store owner and Stone was to rob the owner's store.  Stone would get the goods, the store owner would get the insurance money, then five years later, Stone would sell the jewelry back to the owner at a discount and the shop owner would resell the merchandise under the table.  Stone of course would get a commission.  The plan went off without a hitch except Stone was arrested on some unrelated and fake charge because the police knew they didn't have any evidence regarding the jewelry store robbery but, they wanted him off the street at any cost, even if they had to arrest him on a fake charge with phony evidence planted on him.  He was sentenced to prison for ten years.  He chuckled and said that nobody believed him when he professed to be innocent. 

After two years, he was granted parole but he suspected that it was because the police were hoping that he would lead them to the stolen merchandise. Stone said that he could patiently wait out the eight years of parole or have someone else retrieve the booty from its hiding spot.  He then jokingly asked me if I wanted to make twenty thousand.  I held my fingers up in a cross formation and said “Get behind me, Satan.”  Despite having millions of dollars at his disposal, he patiently took advantage of all the social services, shelters, welfare stamps and food pantries he could in order to keep up the appearance that he had no money. 

A somewhat humorous story that Stone told me was about another big heist they made.  Their getaway van had the shocks removed so that the vehicle would ride low to the ground.  They also took out a small section of the floor.  They were being chased by the police when they stopped the van in the middle of the road.  The police surrounded the van and barked instructions through a bullhorn to give up and step out of the vehicle.  Little did the police know, the van was parked over a manhole and Stone's gang removed the cover from inside the van and escaped through the sewers.  A few years later some mob type movie used the exact same scenario for the antagonist's escape plot.  Taking full credit, Stone was ecstatic that his idea made it into a movie.  He bought out a movie theater and invited all his friends to attend a showing.  At the aforementioned escape scene, the theater erupted into thunderous applause.  The few people who were actual patrons to the showing were probably very confused. 

Stone aced the GED on his first try. 

I Wonder As I Wander

Anger Management

If you cut yourself, would you A) put antibacterial cream on it immediately or B) wait until it gets infected then treat it?  I think we can agree that an ounce of prevention is indeed worth a pound of cure.

I love going to retreats or conventions and participating in workshops and small groups.  I took a Meyers/Briggs course twice and both times it was confirmed that I was an ENTP; very analytical, a problem solver, creative and capable of tackling each problem new and fresh every time.  I took an Enneagram too and scored a nine which is called "The Peacemaker."  I once enrolled in an anger management course despite the fact that I couldn't remember the last time I was actually angry but I went in hoping to learn something about myself and gain valuable insights and tools to use in every day life.

My mother was very much a Buddhist.  She had much love and respect for nature, food and people.  I have never seen her get angry although we kids did push her to the point of being perturbed a few times.  When we were belligerent children, she was always quick to defuse our anger and calmly instruct us to analyze our problems and seek solutions rather than fight or fester.  She would ask us how things made us feel and if those feelings had any effect on the desired outcome.  She would often steer us to the concept of impermanence and the destructive and escalating nature of anger.

I remember once while we were walking along the lake shore near our house where there were swallows flying near the surface of the water catching insects.  My mother said that anger is like the reflection of the bird. The reflection is not the bird, it has no control over the bird and the reflection is not permanent.  The only danger is if the bird gets too close to the reflection or, as I fantasized, a large mouth bass burst forth from the water surface and catch the bird in its mouth.  She taught me to let go of  anger just as easy as it is for the bird to fly away from its reflection, which would in turn disappear.  The reflection had no power unless the bird got too close to it.  That was one of many valuable lessons she imparted to me.  She also said that anger is like a hot coal you hold with the intention of throwing it at someone, but, you are the one who gets burned.

I don't know if I took anger management too seriously or if I was not serious enough.  Every time the instructor gave us a situation to apply our anger management skills to, I always had an answer which would diffuse the narrative immediately. For instance, one of my scenarios was that I was about to pull in to a parking spot in a hospital parking lot and someone pulled up and took the spot which I was intending to occupy. I explained,
"I always park at the far end of the parking lot where there are always empty spaces.  That way my car is safe and I get exercise walking in.  That situation would never happen to me."
The instructor then said,
"The parking lot is full and there is only one space left."
I replied,
"Kudos to the person who was quicker than I.  I don't own the spot and since I always allot extra time in all my travels so I can wait patiently for another spot to open."
She said,
"You have an injured relative in the car."
"I would drive up to the ER entrance and if it was so bad that we had to go to the ER we would be arriving by ambulance."
I wasn't trying to be difficult, just honest.

This went on time and again and none of the scenarios she presented were of any concern to me. What if someone cut me off on the highway, she asked?
"Maybe they didn't know I was there.  I could have been in their blind spot.  Maybe they are a bad driver so I would put distance between us to protect them, me and peripheral drivers."
On and on  it went.  The instructor even got angry at me a few times.

The instructor told us how she was once speeding down a highway and was cut off by a car which pulled out in front of her so she flashed her lights at him and laid on the horn.  The car in front of her slammed on his brakes in retaliation.  The road divided into two lanes at the stop light up ahead and the guy in front of her was turning right and she was going straight.  Side by side they yelled at each other and exchanged middle fingers.  When the light turned green and she moved forward and the guy originally intent upon turning right moved into her lane behind her and proceeded to follow her.  This is where she employed her anger management skills which she was trying to impart to us.  She took a deep breath, unclenched her fists, recognized her anger and made a u-turn to lose him in an attempt to avoid further conflict.  Frankly, I would not have laid on the horn in the first place and let bygones be bygones.  The above scenario would never have happened and we both would have ignorantly and calmly gone on our separate ways.

In most cases concerning conflict with other people, my mother always said this quote, "Forgive them for they know not what they are doing." That is very true.  The guy in the aforementioned story probably didn't intend to cut the instructor off.  He simply and quickly saw an opening and took it.  He misjudged her speed, and, if she wasn't speeding in the first place, his spacial judgement probably would have been accurate, safe and uneventful.

When we get angry at someone who makes a mistake or does something which we feel hurts us, if we hold it against them, we mostly hurt ourselves and our relationship with them.   I value relationships more than differences and strive to heal, accommodate and do no harm.  Although I do admit that at times I am a master at the art of passive aggressiveness but that is fodder for another blog.  If someone is angry at me and there is nothing I can fix, I just let them have their anger.

At the end of the course, the instructor gave us a written assessment of our participation.  Mine simply said,  "Malcolm has anger issues."

THAT, made me downright . . . giddy.  My mother did not have a PhD and she knew so much more than this instructor.  My mother also used to say "When you are a hammer, everything looks like a nail."  I forgive the instructor for her "protests too much" assessment and for being a hammer.  It is not her fault she was not raised to deal with anger prevention until it presented itself and she needed to employ anger management.

So, the next time you cut yourself will you A) put antibacterial cream on it immediately or B) wait until it gets infected then treat it?  I think we can agree that an ounce of prevention is indeed worth a pound of cure.

Christmas Eve

Algonquin Mountain

Algonquin mountain, with its lesser neighbors, Wright, Boundary and Iroquois.  These pictures were taken from Mount Colden.

Boellmann Toccata

The Toccata from Suite Gothique, Op. 25 composed by Léon Boëllmann in 1895 and played here by malcolm kogut.

Picnic

From the Archives:  Sunday School Picnic of the First Presbyterian Church of Gloversville, NY held at Sacandaga Park, June 30, 1912.  Note the pig and donkey pulling the cart.

Kaaterskill Falls

Swimming in the pool of the first drop at Kaaterskill Falls in the Catskills of NY.

Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, CT

Amid the pain, suffering, loss and senselessness of the recent school shooting, there has been overwhelming and beautiful expressions of care and support toward Newtown, the victims and their families.  The Newtown community and nation are coming together in prayer, love and compassion (with + suffering).   The emotions range from shock, disbelief, sadness, fear and anger.   Although it may not be a popular recognition, there are also others victims in this tragedy.  They are collateral damage who  are also suffering pain, loss, shame and fear.  They are a mother, a son, a brother, a father; the Lanza family. 

A quick perusal of any of the media sites, Twitter or Facebook, will yield in the comment sections significant hate and demonization for the family of and for Adam Lanza.  “Rot in Hell,” “Sicko,” and “Monster” are some of the more calm names he has been called.   Some of the horrible things that “good” people would like to do to him are very disturbing.

It has been widely reported that Adam Lanza was suffering with mental turmoil and that he had Aspergers and Personality Disorder.  Many other mass killers have been reported to have mental abnormalities, too.  Where do people with and such destructive behavior come from?  Is it genetic?  A chemical imbalance?  Is it brought on by environment?  Their social upbringing?  How they were parented? 

Some readers are demanding a registry for people with Aspergers  much like the sex offender registry.  That way, people think, they can keep an eye on them and know where they live and what they are doing but registries don’t work.  If someone is going to do something, they’re going to do it.  A registry for people with mental disorders will only make it difficult for them to find employment, housing and further augment their social death making them feel even more helpless and hopeless.  Society can’t register away its fears.  We already have a gun registry, background checks were completed, the school was locked and yet the tragedy occurred anyway. 

I do know though, that what is done to us creates and shapes us.  For every action there is an opposite and equal reaction.  Adam was reportedly a quiet, socially awkward, largely ignored and avoided youth.  We will never know if things would be different today if his peers and friends went out of their way to include, welcome and help him to integrate into their circles and cliques,  resolutely attempting to ameliorate him of his social fears and embarrassments. 

Social isolation is dangerous.  When someone commits a crime and we arrest them and punish them, do you think that makes them love society more?  We send them to prison where they seethe and fester about the loss of their freedom, then when they get out no one will give them a job, they are abandoned by friends and family, ostracized in the papers, put on registries or have permanent records they can never escape from.  Is it any wonder that some of these people have to resort to more crime in order to survive or worse—snap when pushed too far?  Oscar Wilde said that every saint had a past and every sinner had a future.  Did anyone take the time to help Adam envision a future? 

That's why I struggle with the whole notion of calling someone the “good guy” or the “bad guy” because I think we all have potential to do good things and all have the potential to do bad things.   What happened to Adam to make him do what he did and what could society have added to his lonely life to make those actions completely unthinkable to him?  I’m not blaming society, but, we don’t have to live like this.  There is so much darkness in this world and we can’t escape that dark because it will always be there.  It is up to us to be the light for one another.  We can’t do that if we step into the abyss and remain there.  We need to choose whether to be part of the problem or the solution.

A friend of mine is a commercial airline pilot.  He said that if a pilot has a record or mental health issues, their license will be revoked.   I’d much rather be flying with a pilot getting treatment for his issues than one who is not because he is afraid of losing his job if he seeks help.

The hate speech on the social media sites such as Facebook is shocking and quite frankly terrifying.  Sadly, these people don’t realize that their art of the invective makes them, too, monsters.  Stalkers of a different sort.  Their venom is not part of the solution but is only seeding the problem.  Hate begets hate and just as the criminal hates society for punishing him, as an animal backed into a corner will attack, or someone who thinks society has abandoned them, they can snap, any of those people can react equally and opposite.  If someone says “I can forgive, but I cannot forget,” that is only another way of saying, I will not forgive. Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note - torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one ever again.  It is easy to say we forgive Adam but will we do anything to ensure that people with psychological disorders can receive the proper medical treatment?  Are we doing anything in our schools to cultivate loving kindness instead of allowing playground ostrasization?

Were you ever driving down the highway and accidentally cut someone off, then they get mad, flip you the bird, pass you, then slam on their brakes?  This action only gets you mad, then you speed up, flash your lights, lay on the horn or flip them the bird and the cycle of road rage continues.   Have you ever stopped to take notice of what anger felt like?  It is awful.  You can’t think straight, you are consumed, it burns you up, your palms sweat and clench, your heart races and there is nothing productive that comes out of it.  Why would someone allow themselves to feel that way?

When you forgive, you set someone free: Yourself.  As the great Buddha said, “Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; but you are the one who gets burned.”  Jesus, a convicted felon himself,  hung out with criminals and prostitutes.  While on the cross, it wasn’t an honest man he took to paradise with him that day.  It was another  criminal.  What can we learn from that?  What are we doing to ourselves, society and our children’s future when we allow hate and punishment rather than forgiveness and restorative justice?

I was watching a movie about Merlin where King Arthur sentenced an enemy of Camelot to death.  It was the lover of one of his round table knights who in turn pleaded with the king to spare his lover’s life.  Arthur refused because it was the law.  This powerful and angry knight then left Camelot and joined forces against King Arthur.  Arthur’s actions had reactions; hate begets hate, what is done to us creates us.  It all could have been prevented with mercy and compassion and now Arthur’s greatest ally has become his enemy.

In Sandy Hook there are no winners but the ratings hungry media who descend on any person and any angle to get any story and any photo op; the social media websites win as they encourage people to like and tag and share and spew; the politicians who will use this tragedy to look good, compassionate and caring will win as they let you know they are forging new legislation so that this never happens again—and BTW, vote for them next November.  This is also the opportunity for people with ulterior motives to hijack the event for their personal and lucrative cause such as the anti-gun or pro-gun movements, background check companies, security companies, registries and law enforcement grants.

Astrologically, as the age of Pieces draws to an end, we are entering the new age of Aquarius.  Aquarius is the age of enlightenment, the age of the “water bearer.”  Water is life.  I can think of a better way to enter the age of enlightenment than from the wellspring of forgiveness, love, compassion, patience and wisdom.   Those qualities are what many people in our society thirst for.  Why can’t we give it to them before they snap?

 In “The Art of Forgiveness, Loving Kindness, and Peace,” Jack Kornfield describes an African forgiveness ritual: "In the Babemba tribe of South Africa, when a person acts irresponsibly or unjustly, he is placed in the center of the village, alone and unfettered. All work ceases, and every man, woman, and child in the village gathers in a large circle around the accused individual. Then each person in the tribe speaks to the accused, one at a time, each recalling the good things the person in the center of the circle has done in his lifetime. Every incident, every experience that can be recalled with any detail and accuracy, is recounted. All his positive attributes, good deeds, strengths, and kindnesses are recited carefully and at length. This tribal ceremony often lasts for several days. At the end, the tribal circle is broken, a joyous celebration takes place, and the person is symbolically and literally welcomed back into the tribe."

Maybe if the positive attributes, good deeds, strengths, and kindnesses are also recited carefully and at length to the lonely, lost, forsaken, abandoned and confused, tragedies such as Sandy Hook will never happen again, in the age of enlightenment.

Ice Caves

There are two sets of Ice Caves in Ellenville, NY; the commercial caves off route 52 and the open fault caves. To find the open fault caves, you can leave your car at the Berme Road Park (41°42'48.72"N 74°22'57.99"W) then take the carriage trail up the mountain.  The trail to the large fault, or great crevice, ascending the mountian is unmarked and difficult to find if you don't know where it is (approximately:  41°42'59.01"N  74°22'27.40"W).  If you go too far you will come to a wooden bridge which is the entrance to Shingle Gulley.  That is just as interesting and exciting to climb.  Once in either location, there are nooks, crannies and deep crevices which you could explore for weeks.  The "Grand Canyon" is located approximately: (41°42'47.24"N   74°21'45.06"W). 

On Eagles Wings

I once held several jazz vesper services for which I procured a small grant.  The program lasted ten weeks and we had a lot of fun.  This was the sort of music I offered.  We invited people to bring their own cushions and pillows and sit on the floor around the piano.  We also set out icons and candles.

Musician-Staff Relations Revisited

Two Franciscan friars were journeying across the country evangelizing people. They came to the bank of a river, but there was no bridge at that point. Standing by the river was a beautiful young lady who also had to cross, but she told the friars that she was afraid to ford the river because she could not swim. So, the first friar immediately offered his assistance. He took the young lady in his arms and carried her across the river. She was so deeply grateful that, before they went their separate ways, she gave him a hug and a kiss. Once the woman had left, the second friar began berating his companion for his reckless, sinful behavior. For two hours, in fact, the first Franciscan walked in silence as his companion recited a litany of faults: holding the woman in his arms, allowing her to hug and kiss him, breaking the rules of chastity, and most certainly placing his soul at risk. When his determined silence appeared unable to stem the flood of complaints, the presumed sinner finally responded: "I carried that woman across the river and left her on the opposite bank. You are still carrying her."

In the final analysis of practically every story of conflict between a member of the clergy and a musician, insecurity, miscommunication, and no communication rank high on the list of causes for the atmosphere of friction that looms over priest and musician, both apostles, who serve God and his people under the banner of Christianity. Most people think of the church as a genteel, dignified institution, whose work is carried out by people with nice manners in an air of civility. But, when I attend various musical gatherings, I often hear the horror stories, the complaints, and the whines, about what Father did, or about "what he won't let me do." Consider the endless complaints of the second friar in my story. He may have meant well, but he didn't know when to drop a subject, when to forgive a fault, or when to forget an incident. Such determination to focus on grievance and protestation usually masks a greater problem such as ignorance, fear, insecurity, or some other self-imposed limitations. The simple cure for such problems is offered in the Scriptures where Jesus admonishes Peter to forgive seventy times seven times. Whether we are in the role of persecutor or persecuted, maintaining a grudge taxes our energy and hardens our hearts. We must find ways to resolve, forgive, and to grow, rather than continuing to sulk, gossip, or fulminate. After all, the task of the church is to fight sin, and we can hardly contribute to this task by fighting each other.

Consider Choir Rehearsals
Consider the average choir rehearsal. The music director chooses the music, marshals the voices, sets the tempo, and prompts the singers to follow. When the baton descends, they had better sing on cue, because the director is the boss and the boss is always right. Even if wrong, the director is still right. If a mistake is made, the job of the choir members is to do what it takes to keep up with their conductor and to make it work. Now take a step back and view the larger picture. Father is there; he is your boss and, as we know, the boss is always right. By nature, we all need and want to be in control, but sometimes our plans get foiled because our way of leading may be different from that of another person. We may not be wrong, only different. At the 1996 NPM Regional Convention in Stamford, CT, during a panel discussion, Rev. Robert Burbank admonished the musicians to "remember who signs your paycheck," and Michael McMahon retorted "remember who pays yours." The issue isn't about who is in control; it is about exploring ways to exercise power for benefit and not for control. Only then will the anarchy, inflated egos, and verbal sniping cease to exist. An old Zen saying sums it up: "The fastest way to get ahead in your chosen profession is to help promote those ahead of you." Only then will tension lead to a healing and not to a grievance hearing.

Conflict in the parish workplace is a pervasive problem that threatens both peace and productivity. It is particularly appropriate to address problems early on, so as to avoid later and potentially tragic consequences. One of the greatest agents of conflict may be stress caused by such things as the loss of a crucial choir member, erratic scheduling, family responsibilities, monotonous tasks, overtime, high goals, a change in staff, fear of competition (for instance, from the "folk group"). Recognizing the true source of conflict and finding appropriate ways to resolve it require fact finding and collaborative problem solving. Autonomy, authoritarian managerial styles, and an absence of decision-making latitude can all produce an oppressive atmosphere where imposed limitations demean or diminish dignity and spirituality, and lead to the fear of failure, or to an attempt to demean another person. Working out conflict with grace, charity, and wisdom is the only solution.

The Language of Listening
A lot of people seem to lack the ability to communicate in the language of listening. It is a language we may not know, because we have never learned it. Instead of keeping our common goals and vision for the future firmly in mind, we frequently let our emotions and the thoughtless actions of others overwhelm us. We spend what might have been productive time dwelling on what we think of others, or what they may think of us. This may be the time to remember exactly what one shares with others in the way of common goals and visions for the future. All too often, however, we are not given the luxury of recalling such basic values. A musician awakes, so to speak, in the midst of a situation already overwhelmed with feelings of helplessness, a feeling that nothing can be done that is positive. It may be that another person is unwilling to forgive, to adapt, or deliberate over a dispute. Caught up in a feeling of despair, without taking the needed time to reflect, the musician resigns. And while this may relieve the pain of the current situation, if nothing constructive has been attempted, then the pattern is then in place for repeating this sad history at the next parish.

If at all possible, it is certainly preferable to approach the problem through focusing on common goals and shared visions. But this is not to encourage passive acceptance as a better sort of solution than withdrawal from the scene of battle. In fact, passivity can be a threat to finding a solution. Like high blood pressure, it is a silent enemy. Sometimes the best solution is to terminate employment if someone is destroying us, and we can find no way to resist that destruction, or if, on the other hand, we find ourselves expending valuable energy destroying someone else. In either case, walking away from the situation may be the charitable thing to do, both for self-preservation and for the sake of the other party.

Choose Your Battles
Confrontation is always difficult, even when one supposes that one is right. But not everything is worth fighting for. Not everything in life and work is a contest to win or to lose. Do what can be done and then learn the lesson of letting go. Limitations can breed invention, creativity, and artistic capabilities. The goal is excellence, not perfection. Nobody is perfect and no one is going to become perfect (and remember that this includes Father). So let your employer know what your needs and desires are. Don't hold him responsible if he can't read your mind. If he says "no" because he can't or doesn't understand your point of view, then try to understand his. Accept his decision and move on. When a door is closed, invariably a window is opened.

The ability to recognize and resolve disputes is a valuable job skill that many of us are not trained to use. It can be taught, but finally one has to cultivate and learn what skills one possesses and, as important, what skills one lacks. Only through collaboration, creative effort, mutual respect, and a climate of communication, can a safe and supportive environment be fostered. Start on solutions by cultivating a sense of mutual interest. Engage in conversation, spend time relaxing together. Make sure that the pastor (or other employer) is aware of all music activities so that he can express an interest in those he would like to attend. Invite him to accompany you to an NPM Convention: joint participation might lead to a common understanding of goals and visions.

I was disappointed that only a handful of people took advantage of Kathy Hendricks's workshop on "conflict management" at the 1996 Stamford Regional. Could it be that we don't attend such programs because we fear that further training will somehow challenge what we are already doing? Maybe the greatest danger to us is the possible discovery that the problem is ours and not someone else's. Perhaps there is more of a problem with our attitudes than with Father's actions. We cannot avoid conflict, but by leaning forward, unclenching our fists, speaking gently, measuring our words, listening, learning, and communicating we may withstand it. If we do not have this talent, even if the propensity for it is not within us, we still may be able to acquire it. And, because we are believers, we should trust St. Luke's promise to those who have to confront authority: "Do not worry about how you are to defend yourselves or what you are to say; for the Holy Spirit will teach you at that very hour what you are to say" (Luke 12:11-12). For those who are genuinely called to serve, this surely is enough.

Job Descriptions: "Above and Beyond"

I like to fish in moving water: Fish living in moving streams pull harder, fight longer, and taste better, in my ex perience, than fish caught in lakes, ponds, or reservoirs. Another plus to such locations for fishing is that moving water is easier to "read" than still water, once you know what conditions to look for.

The key to fishing in streams and rivers is learning to understand the con ditions in which fish may be caught. Such understanding only comes with practice. The same principle is true for being an effective music minister. At any NPM Convention there are workshops that purport to offer techniques and se crets that will add life to our liturgies, assemblies, and parishes. The truth is, you seldom need a special technique to achieve this; you need practice in using your skills—a lot of practice, which will teach you how to "read the water." Suc cess as a minister is found in your ability to read and interpret the living assem bly, and in being versatile enough to adapt to what is going on in its currents and eddies.

Those of us who are organists should have already learned a set of technical skills that will improve our craft by adapt ing and building on what we know and can do. So, for example, we know that we need to adjust our touch on the in strument to take account of the tempera ture, the room's acoustics, the hour, our clothing, the bellowing of a vacuum cleaner, and the soft, hushed murmurs of the prayer group gathered in the back of the church.

Reading the Currents
The challenge we face, however, is not simply limited to reading such tech nical currents; we must also let ourselves experience — so that we might interpret and respond to — the currents that flow through our congregations. As church musicians, we will find it difficult to accomplish our divinely appointed tasks, realize our vision, and marshal the forces in our community if we keep ourselves distanced from such currents, safe back, on the river's shore, locked away from those we serve, on whom we must rely for energy, support, direction, opportunity, and purpose.  Music ministers have to draw on the life of the whole church and the wider community, motivating all its cells, organs, and systems to func tion in a healthy and coordinated man ner. We may be equipped with all the necessary tools to do this, all the talent and the right opportunities, like some one going fishing who has all the right equipment, yet lack the practical skills — the necessary unifying principles that express our purpose and ministry, tem pered and enriched by experience — to "hook the fish."

Someone who fishes in moving water has to become part of the river, aware of it as a complex interaction of various elements.  Just so, pastoral musicians must be aware of all the elements that make up the local church and its wider community, in order to carry out a ministry that interprets and relates to the Christian faith that is being lived out by various individuals and groups. Our at tention cannot be limited to the func tions and activities fueled exclusively by the parish's music personnel; we must work collaboratively with other church groups on developing education, train ing, and other activities that will help to unify a parish community into a living entity, teaming with life and adventure.

A river can become over-fished; one fisher can try to catch the prize specimen of a particular species, to own it and mount it as a trophy. But the outcome of a music ministry is not an item that can "belong" to some groups rather than others. Our goal is not to rise above others and "corner the market." The victory of one group of ministers does not entail the defeat of another group. Divi sions and competition should not be the result of what we do. For true growth to occur, we must expand the base of our ministry through networking, service, and patience. If you were to pour sand on a small table, the sand would build a pile just so high before it begins to spill onto the floor. In order to make the pile of sand higher, you have to enlarge the base—use a bigger table. For a ministry to grow, it must follow a similar procedure, because growth in a congregation occurs only until it reaches the concep tual limitations of the leadership. If you  want to serve more people in better ways, you must expand your base of organization and ministry as well as your vision of ministry.

Limited by Our Vision
All of us tend to consider the limits of our own field of vision to be the limit of the world. Ultimately, each of us is limited by the scope of our own vision, no matter how wide or deep, for, without help, we cannot go beyond the range of our own comprehension. Growth occurs when we are challenged to enlarge our vision, to seek a wider horizon, to enter willingly and deliberately into uncharted waters. Just as we are challenged to en large our horizons through education, invitation, and effort, so we can use those same tools to encourage growth in others.

Many of us have an image of ministry similar to the arrangement of a sym phony orchestra: A number of people, with mixed talents, are brought together to create a unified effect under the con trol and direction of the conductor. An other musical image may serve us better: A chamber orchestra contains members with varying talents, who are so attuned to each other that they require no baton to lead them. The work of shaping such a group is no picnic; there's a lot of groaning, and there are controversies over phrasings, bowings, and tempos. Shaping the group into a unified instrument requires tremendous listening and watching. There's still a lot of conduct ing going on, of course, but responsibil ity for it is shared among fifteen or so people. In a similar way, decentralizing responsibility for the ministry we share, dividing tasks among volunteers, will keep the base of our activity broad enough to involve more and more people at different levels of church life where ministry really belongs—with the whole congregation. Our role in such a model is to minister to the ministers, to assist various individuals and groups to discover their own appropriate horizon, and to lead them into shaping an exciting and apostolic future vision.

Eyes on the Prize
There are some fishers who disdain "lesser" species, looking only for the prize catch, the record fish. Other fishermen understand that they have to know all the species in the river and how each takes the lure, if they are ever going to be successful in those waters. There are music ministers who disdain the lesser occasions on which they are asked to share their talent. I know of a relatively new full-time music director who was asked about music for the parish's up coming Ash Wednesday Masses. She replied that there would be no music at the three Masses because "they didn't ask me, so I'm not offering."

This comment reveals a crucial differ ence between managing a job (or wait ing for the prize catch) and managing a ministry. Many of us can probably think of several occasions that we passed up because we were not asked, or because the occasion seemed too insignificant to require our services: special Lenten Masses, weekly Stations of the Cross, religious ed reconciliation services, services to bless food, daily Mass, opening of parish council meetings, women's club gatherings. These are prime opportuni ties to "learn the river"—to serve, edu cate, plant seeds, and network. Opportunities
such as chaperoning a youth group out ing or assisting the salaried sexton to rake leaves. It is in service to people that service to God is proved.

Certainly, such tasks are not listed in most job descriptions for directors of music ministry. But music and musi cians should be integrated into all as pects of education and other parish ac tivities as well as into a parish's worship. If a contract doesn't include the word "catalyst," we should probably write it in, or at least express its presence through our actions. Little gestures can cause a chain reaction; a chance meeting can lead to an introduction that might change the course of a life or ministry. Each oppor tunity to provide musical leadership is a chance to hear new voices. Behind what they say or sing may be a yearning for love and friendship, acceptance and un derstanding, the voice of the risen Christ calling us to form the living Body of Christ.

Opportunities to serve are endless. One of my piano teachers told me to accept every gig offered to me, whether it paid or not because each one provided an opportunity to make new contacts and learn something new. Besides, we need to practice and one performance is worth several practices.

Involvement in various activities may also spark our interest and unveil hid den talents and skills that we might use in other aspects of our work. Chances are, you will discover that music is only one aspect of a wider ministry. Still, you must care about the music that is the core of your ministry, treating it as so much more than a job, an easy choice, a reliable salary.

Loving the Work
A true fisher simply loves to fish, and so works to improve skills, not paying too much attention to the pile of fish that someone else, perhaps with lesser skills, is piling up just downriver. True music ministers work with enthusiasm, will ingness, altruism, and creativity, with out paying too much attention to the director of music ministries next door, who may put in a lackluster performance for twice our salary. John Wesley once said: "There is no man excellent in his profession, whatsoever it be, who has not in his temper a strong tincture of enthusiasm and creativity." Creativity is the power of the mind to synthesize new ideas from two or more previously unconnected ones. We feed the fire of cre ativity when we feed ourselves random information as fuel for creative combus tion, asking questions, and seeking solutions to problems-not only in the parish's musical life.

Fishers know that you never go fish ing in the same river; weather and other circumstances alter the "real" river, no matter how much it might look like the river you fished just yesterday. Some times you meet circumstances that expe rience hasn't prepared you for, and you either have to adapt or step away from the river. No two musicians are alike in skill, temperament, knowledge, toler ance, talent, or spirituality, though they may have the same educational degrees. No two parishes are alike, although they may have the same schedule of weekend Masses. No two pastors are alike; each is an individual with tastes, opinions, hopes, and demands, and with the power to dictate (in some circumstances) what he wants, its value to him, and its worth to the parish in terms of salary, budget, and other benefits. A previous director of music ministries may have taken on functions for which we are unprepared or poorly prepared, yet which our pastor and congregation expect of us. It may require tremendous enthusiasm and commitment on our part to meet those expectations and, at times, to exceed expectations by developing momentum for new programs and initiating new ap proaches.

Ultimately, though, the Christ in whom we put our faith can do great things with just a little material. The same Christ who fed a crowd of five thousand and more (John 6:1-15) will feed us. We offer simple bread, and it becomes the Body of Christ. We must be like the young boy in the gospel story, who knew he had only five loaves and a few fish but offered them anyway, to see what Christ would make of them. Jesus waits to transform our gifts and multiply what we do, if only we will offer what we have.

Education Is . . . or Should Be . . . Continuous

Finding opportunities for continuing education is a problem for all profession als, yet it seems even more so for the pastoral musician because of the sched uled and unscheduled demands on avail able time. How does one harmonize the need for continuing education with the uncertain timing of people's special pas toral needs such as weddings and funer als? Even the anticipated and regularly scheduled demands of a position can limit the time available for professional development. Education is continuing. It is continuous. In this article I wish to offer some comments on how to deal with our need for professional growth and intellectual refreshment.

For some people, the phrase "con tinuing education" conjures up nothing more than images of adult courses in community colleges, or in the public high schools. Or we may think of magazines and books that focus on the "how to" aspects of a subject. We may see in our mind the bulletin boards in various loca tions filled with notices of this course or that course led by local professional artists or gifted amateurs.

Despite the demands of a busy sched ule, lifelong learning is a necessity for all of us, no matter how we approach it. We will continue to need additional training for our professional life and, if we hope to live a rich and full life, we will continue to need experiences that attract our inter est and spark cross-connections with what we have already learned. There are ways of extracting education from our daily life. Not all learning situations require a total commitment of additional time. Sometimes the greatest source of training is in our daily relations with other people.

As a practical matter, an excellent learning experience is to volunteer to teach a course yourself at a school or some other center such as summer theater arts schools or public libraries. Such courses might be arranged through the diocesan education program or your own parish. (Yes, I know that preparation for such a course takes time!)

What about preparing a carefully de signed retreat for the late summer or early fall directed toward your own choir? The opportunity here is to learn yourself, to discover your own forgotten skills and knowledge, and even to use the music and materials planned for the coming year. Here, education comes from get ting to know your own choir a little better, in planning your own responsibilities, and in providing a rewarding experience for the choir members. Here is the opportunity (to borrow a phrase from current popular psychology) to re discover the inner teacher within the pastoral musician.

A friend of mine who is a magnificent woodwind player once remarked in an apparently contradictory statement that while technically his music had not im proved over the past twenty years, he felt that his "music has matured and it now flows out of him with passion and ease like never before." The difference he felt was in the lessons of compassion that he had learned as a person, as part of a family, as a member of the community. He rightly felt that his experiences were expressed in his music. Compassion itself had been a continuing education. We must educate ourselves to express in our music the sorrow, the frustration that we feel in our daily lives as we encounter the seeming victories of politics over pity, illness over health, restlessness over in ner peace. But we must also express with passion the joy that we feel in our en counters with beauty, compassion in oth ers, and renewing love.
Life itself is a continuing education course in which we determine what to emphasize in the curriculum.

Continuing education is helped by developing an awareness and under standing of the self as a learner. Life experiences for learning come in any shape and size and may take the form of a person, place, thing, or some combina tion thereof. What are some of the char acteristics of life situations that lend them selves to learning? Activities that are goal directed and action centered foster learn ing; activities in or out of a classroom that are open to possibilities and meanings foster learning; activities that encourage discipline and investigation open up im mense possibilities for learning. Beyond
these, activities and situations that en courage and support the search for truth and beauty that adds meaning to our lives and activities that foster close hu man relationships—all support our growth as persons. For instance, plan a meeting with colleagues to play and dis cuss the music that you use and love; this too is a "learning" situation.

In addition to times for active learn ing, we need opportunities for solitude and calm reflection. When we strain or injure our bodies, doctors prescribe peri ods of rest and physical therapy sessions. We need the same prescription for our spirits, when they are under strain or suffering from injury of one kind or an other. We need changes of scene to revive us; we need appropriate therapies to re lieve stress and anxiety; we need the stimulation of sharing experiences with colleagues, even sharing our music with another musician. Or we may choose just to go bowling with some friends.

Continuing education is a life process: we live to learn. We can and should make use of formal structures for learning, set ting appropriate goals and evaluative criteria for ourselves, but we should also foster a view of life that all experience is a path of study. In doing so, we will seize our place in the communities in which we live and in that place we will thrive.

Bulletin Blurbs

I once played for a church which required me to post a "Bulletin Blurb" in the weekly bulletin in an effort to encourage people to consider joining the choir.  I asked my choir to go home and write some and they came back the following week with over 500 blurbs.  In no particular order, here are a handful:  

People can be divided into three groups: 
1. Those who make things happen
2. Those who watch things happen
3. and those who wonder what happened. 
Join the choir and make things happen.

Separate fact from fiction. 
Fact:     Singing in the choir is the most fun way to motivate, educate and train in a results-oriented  musical ensemble. 
Fact:    Singing in the choir is for everyone, regardless of age, gender or current IQ level. 
Fact:    Singing in the choir delivers results that improve your health and overall quality of life.  You will be breathing deeper, more efficiently, and you will be oxygenating your blood which flows to the brain, stimulating the whole body and mind. 
Fact:    Singing in the choir burns calories and melts inches off of your waistline (with plenty of exercise, a balanced diet, and a minimal caloric intake).

Over the past 40 years, the choir has had a variety of members:  doctors, nurses, teachers, homemakers, mechanics, computer programmers, students, cooks, accountants.  Each person has brought with them a wealth of friendship, spirituality, and altruistic compassion.  What “New Song” can you bring to our ministry and its timeless heritage?

Singing in the choir is so exciting that it will make your heart race.  But, don’t worry, one of our members is a cardiologist.  Join us this Wednesday.

On Thursday nights, the choir gathers in a delivery room unlike any other.  Here, people learn things about themselves, about God, and develop a special kind of confidence that comes from inside, and never goes away.  And when they leave, they’re different people.  Stronger, more confident, spiritual leaders.  Join us in the church basement at 7:00.

The Top Ten Ways to Join the Choir
10)  Call Malcolm at 555-5555.
9)    Leave a message at church.
8)    Place message in bottle, wait for next heavy rain, float to church.
7)    Take out a full-page color ad in the local paper telling your interest.
6)    Call our (900) number -warning - $50 per minute.
5)    E-mail Malcolm at: mkogut@
4)    During a Sunday morning sermon, leap to lectern, wrest mike from Fr. Bill and shout, "I HAVE to join the Choir RIGHT NOW!"
3)    One word: Searchlights!
5)    Tell any choir member. 
And the #1 way to join the Choir:  (drum roll)
1)    Just COME, Wednesdays at 6:15!

Do you own a Jacuzzi?  How about a condo in Myrtle Beach?  A ski chalet?  If you answered “Yes” to any of these questions, then the choir wants YOU!  Even if you are not in possession of such worldly prizes, you are still encouraged to stop by on Thursday night and see what we’re about. 

It takes twelve pages to tell you everything about the choir.  Surely you don’t think that we can do it in one small paragraph?  Come to rehearsal and begin find out what we’re about.

This l tt r is r ally hard to r ad.  Why?  B caus  it is missing a l tt r.  For want of a singl  l tt r, som thing do sn’t s  m right.  That is what it is lik  with th  choir.  If on  p rson is missing, th  whol  just do sn’t s  m to b  right.  Mayb  you ar  that missing p rson.  Join us on Thursday nights and compl m nt our compl m nt.

CHURCH.  The most important member of the choir is the same person that is the center of and is most important to the life and vitality of the church.  “U-R.”  Please join us.

Wanted
Tenors and Basses to join the choir. 
Must be able to read music. 
Must be available for one weekly rehearsal and one Sunday Mass. 
Must also own fishing boat.
Bring a picture of the boat.

Peter left his trade and followed Jesus his whole life.  We are only asking for a few hours each week.  Join the choir.

For the want of a nail, a shoe was lost.
For the want of a shoe, a horse was lost.
For the want of a horse, a man was lost.
For the want of a man, a battle was lost.
For the want of a battle, a kingdom was lost.
All for the want of a nail.
Every choir member is as important as that nail.  Please join us on Thursday.

Music can change lives!  The choir is an excellent opportunity to reach our assemblies through music.  The choir meets every Thursday night and is an excellent opportunity to meet new friends and grow spiritually.  There are many ways that you can help us:  Come; Bring a friend; Pray for us.  If you support this ministry, God will bless you beyond your imagination.

Make a difference in your parish community.  We are now recruiting members for the season of Advent.  If you are interested, call Malcolm at 555-5555 or come to one of our rehearsals on Thursday evenings.

A one semester course on music theory at SCCC costs $450.  A bag of store bought cookies cost about $2.50.  Membership dues to join a health club is $30 per month.  Singing in the choir is still free, you get cookies, an education and a work out.

Have you ever wondered what the choir wears under those robes?  Join us on Thursdays to find out.

Avalanche Pass

After a long and arduous day of hiking the High Peaks of the Adirondacks, one of the last things I want to do is scramble over, under and through the tumbled chaos of boulders which is the Avalanche Pass.  It is at once a bleak, boulder strewn path threading its way among huge rock masses assisted by ladders, bridges and Hitch-Up-Matildas.  The Pass is enjoyable when you are fresh and eager in the morning and have a surfeit of ambition buoyed with a sense of invincibility but, it is a punishing insult to injury after a long day of battling gravity in mountainous ascent and descent.  It takes about an hour to get through the pass but you are still a one hour woodland jaunt from Marcy Lake, which is yet another hour from your car. 

Avalanche Lake is nestled between Colden Mountain and Avalanche Mountain (and its upper neighbor - Algonquin).  Avalanche Lake and Lake Colden was once a single body of water until an avalanche separated the two.  Following Hurricane Irene, Colden Mountain unleashed a new malignant tumble of debris into Avalanche Lake creating an extended land mass at the base of the Trap Dike.  It is an awe-full Siren beckoning to be explored.  Here is a poem I sketched about ten years ago.

Avalanche Lake

A beautiful lake ‘neath sheer descent
into which terrible torrents tumbled
Two shuddering frames in fierce foment
poured forth its damming crumbles

Avalanche Lake, a bright streaked jewel
at the foot of frowning giants
whose feldspar loads dumped down in duel
to sublime scape compliant

I stumbled through with horny tread
a pasture where the boulders lie
a passage to my journeys end
a pass where time wafts slowly by

Avalanche Lake exudes devotion
amid the mountains watching brood
just as the pearl hides in the ocean
they tumbled rocks where man intrudes

Like the wail of the miserere
through the pass the breezes howl
wrought in prayer of reverent affray
to the God whose finger plowed

A jeweling lake with gemmy colors
where neighboring mountains bathe their feet
its crystal mirror to their features
a rugged scene yet peace replete

Avalanche Pass and Lake

Avalanche Pass

Colden Mountain

Toccata and Fugue in D Minor

This is me having fun with the great Toccata and Fugue in D Minor at a Halloween Organ Recital.  Historically this piece is recognized as being composed by J. S. Bach but musicologists, organists and Bach scholars have long questioned whether Bach actually wrote this piece. Technically, here is nothing specific about Bach in it.  It is actually believed that the original piece was not in D minor, not a toccata and fugue, not for the organ, but for the violin and written in A minor. 

http://youtu.be/TkjF2Vtzwjs

A few of the many reasons that Bach scholars question its authorship is 1) Bach would not have ended the piece with a minor plagal cadence (take a peek at his Little Fugue in G Minor as an example of how he would have ended it).  2) Bach would not have started the piece in octaves.  3) The original manuscript was written in D minor but without a flat.  4) It is not in the intellectual style of Bach.  Certainly the piece was written to dazzle and show off but it does not have the contrapuntal sophistication of Bach and, the fugue is not at all complicated or brilliantly worked out as much of Bach's other fugues are.  5) The diminished seventh is used throughout the piece repetitiously and rather naively. 

The original manuscript was in the handwriting of Johann Rinck (Johannes Ringk) who was a student of Johann Peter Kellner.  Kellner knew Bach and was a student of Johann Christian Kittel and Kittel was Bach's last student.  Many music scholars beleive that the piece was actually a composition of Kellner's which Rinck copied since it is in Kellner's style.

The greater question is: Does anyone care?  Not in the least.  It is still a great piece of music hitting the bulls-eye for generations of listeners.

http://youtu.be/TkjF2Vtzwjs

The Arrest of Shelly

Back in the late seventies my friend Shelly was a third year college student. While celebrating with some of her friends after some school event, all the kids went to a local tavern where somebody gave my friend Shelly a rolled joint. A few minutes later a man approached her and asked if he could buy it from her but Shelly didn't want it to begin with so she gave it to him. The man offered her $5.00 but she refused it. He insisted that she take the five bucks and he placed it in her hand. Later as she left the tavern, two men approached her and arrested for for dealing drugs.

$30,000 in lawyer fees later, she was sentenced to 10 years probation which was better than the 25 years the state was looking to send her to prison for. At the time of her arrest, she had a bright future as a
teacher. Over the next 30 years she struggled to find employment. The only jobs that she could get were under the table jobs as a waitress and offering tutoring sessions. Over time she has made many contacts, proved herself to several high end restaurants and built a comfortable private tutoring business.  Those efforts combined with social services and living off the largess of the taxpayer Shelly was able to survive, meagerly. She also had an unerring eye for free food!

Due to the recent proliferation of sex offender laws and other forms of mass hysteria perpetuated by ratings hungry media and voter hungry politicians, more and more businesses are doing background checks.  After 30 years Shelly's name is beginning to resurface as a convicted drug dealer and now her private business and good name which she had struggled so long and so hard to rebuild are suffering. There are more and more private websites now adding to the mix of outing people with records. It used to be only the government who had or posted this information on the internet but more sites and background check companies are beginning to share and propagate this information.  A multitude of data harvesters are playing this profitable game with this old information as well. Even restaurants who used to hire anyone, even under the table, are now weeding out people with long past felony convictions. Even if it were sealed or expunged, they are still finding records from various sources. 

A friend who worked for ten years at a dead end call center at minimum wage recently lost his job because the company was forced to institute a background check policy to protect society.  I would think that the last thing we would want are unemployed former criminals with no money, nowhere to turn and no support, struggling and desperate to survive and provide for a family. 

We give our dogs bones so they won't chew on the furniture and keep them out of mischief.  We need to keep desperate people employed so they don't do anything desperate.

This country is inching closer to the legalization of marijuana.  What will happen to people like Shelly who have old records for possession and innocuous sales?

http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/wed-december-5-2012/old-tokes-home

Saving Lives: One of Seven, Mary.

Mary was a 67 year old woman who was significantly overweight and just a few inches over six feet tall. Several years earlier Mary suffered a stroke which left the right side of her body paralyzed. She was left without the ability to speak and consequently it was difficult for her to swallow. She was also unable to take care herself, at least that is what her family thought, so they sent her to live with my mother who ran a private rest home for the elderly. Mary was capable and proud enough to be able to keep herself clean, dressed and active and she loved to go for long walks, watch TV, and pick flowers. She would spend hours bent over a patch of clover in pursuit of the elusive four leaf variety. She could find them, too. Since Mary was ambulatory, responsible, and had her wits about her, my mother gave her free reign. Mary could come and go as she pleased and often took the dog for long walks around the neighborhood. Reggie, a black spaniel, loved Mary.

Because Mary’s stroke made it difficult for her to swallow her food, my mother had to grind most of Mary’s meals into a mush. Meat was always a problem for her to swallow. Anything that required chewing had to be rendered into small bits. How Mary loved to eat. There was not a food she did not like, she always cleaned her plate and often asked for seconds, hence, her large girth. Mary would often help clear the table and sneak-eat the leftover food the plates of the other residents. My mother had to watch her closely but it wasn’t always easy.

One warm and sunny weekday afternoon I was visiting my mother. Usually, whenever I visit somebody’s house, I park out on the road, but on this day for some unknown reason I pulled all the way in to my mom's driveway right up to her back door. Her minivan was parked in the garage which was also not common. She usually occupied the spot outside the back door because there was limited space inside the garage for the ladies to climb inside.

On this day, the phone company was working on the lines and the entire community was without telephone service for the afternoon. This was in the days before cell phones. My mother had just given the ladies their lunch: Hot dog’s, everyone’s favorite. Mary’s, as usual, had been put through the grinder and was like a mound of brown mashed potatoes. Mary quickly shoveled hers home and and proceeded to clean up the dishes from the table. One of the ladies did not finish her dog and Mary picked it up. She quickly stuffed it into her mouth and tried to swallow it whole. She immediately began to choke then dropped everything and ran to my mother who was in the kitchen. My mother screamed for me. I was in another room and came running. I immediately recognized that Mary was choking and got behind her in an effort to perform the Heimlich maneuver. Since Mary was so large I could not get my arms around her. I told my mother to call the ambulance and she said the phones were out. At the time we did not know that the entire community was out of service. I thought it was just my mom’s phones. So I ran out the door to the neighbor's house and pounded on the door. There was no immediate answer and there were no cars in the driveway. I turned and made a four foot jump off of their porch and running for the next home I jumped over a four foot picket fence. There was no answer there either. I ran through that backyard and leap to the top of a 6 ft. high stone retaining wall to the next neighbor. Before I got to the door I heard my mother scream my name. I turned and ran back to her house.

She and Mary had made it outside where my mom was standing by the back door. Mary was laying on the ground and her skin was purple. My mother was screaming “Do something!” In one of those apocryphal moments, and I would never believe if you told me this happened to someone else, I picked Mary up in my arms as if I had super human strength. My mother opened my car door and I set Mary in the passenger seat. Lucky for both Mary and me, I broke tradition that day and parked in the driveway.

My mother lived on a small quiet country road. In three tenths of a mile it joined a busy 55 mph highway. Half of a mile further it led to the center of town were the speed limit drops to 30 mph. A mile further from there, was the office of the town doctor. I got in my car and drove 70 mph all the way to the doctor’s office. There was not a single vehicle coming or going the entire way. I had the whole road to myself in the middle of the day.

I arrived at the doctor’s office and pulled up to the front door, parking on the lawn. I left my car door open as I charged into his office. I screamed at the receptionist “Where is the doctor?” and the receptionist said that the doctor was not in that day. I told her to call an ambulance, there was a choking woman in my car. She told me that her phone was not working and to drive up to the fire department and volunteer ambulance building which was about a quarter of a mile away. There, I could break the glass alarm on the outside of the building and help would quickly arrive.

Across the street from the doctors office lived a volunteer fire department EMT. She wasn’t feeling well that day and called in sick for work. She happened to look out her front window as I drove up, recognizing that something was wrong and seeing somebody slumped back in the passenger seat she ran out to my car to assist in any way she could. By the time I got back outside, she already had Mary lying on the ground and she managed to extricate part of the hot dog and performing mouth to mouth. She had a hand held radio and called for an ambulance. Only when the retinue of rescuers arrived at the hospital were the able to get all of the hot dog dislodged from Mary’s throat.

I knew that my mother would be worried so I went back to her house to tell her everything that had happened and she asked me to stay and watch the other ladies while she went to the hospital to tend to Mary. When she came home later that evening she told me that Mary was going to be okay. Since Mary had a history of strokes they decided to keep her overnight for observation.

The next day Mary was back home and doing well. I walked into my mother’s house later that evening and Mary was standing in the doorway, watching and waiting for me to arrive. We looked at each other with tears in our eyes and we hugged. Long. Though Mary couldn’t speak there were no words that needed to be said.

Mary continued to sneak food. My mother tried to watch her as best she could and warned Mary time and again not to eat food that was not prepared exclusively for her but Mary was stubborn and hated to eat ground up “baby food.” I can’t say I blame her.

One day, Mary was heading for the bathroom when she was struck by another stroke. She fell to the floor and was unconscious. My mother called an ambulance while two visiting social service employees tended to her but there was nothing anyone could do. Mary fell into a coma and never regained consciousness. After about two weeks in the hospital, Mary died quietly in her sleep. Only my mother was by her side.

http://www.ehow.com/how_14949_heimlich-maneuver.html

Prayer of St. Francis

Here is my simple arrangement on the song PRAYER OF ST. FRANCIS (aka Make Me A Channel Of Your Peace).  This started out as an organ arrangement but I fill it out a little more when I play it on the piano.  It also has a light jazz feel.  World Library Publications published a simpler arrangment in a collection called "Blessed Assurance, by Malcolm Kogut." That setting is closer to how I would play it on the organ.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWquZq8-Cmk

Avalanche Lake's Hitch Up Matilda

Avalanche Lake is approximately one mile long and is wedged between Avalanche Mountain and Colden Mountain.  There is a trail nestled at the edge of the lake where the hiker will experience numerous scrambles that must be made over, under and around various boulders. The trail follows along the west edge of the lake, sometimes requiring the use of catwalks bolted to the rock face of Avalanche Mt. These catwalks are known as "Hitch-up Matildas" because prior to the existence of the walkways, a guide was carrying a young woman named Matilda through the Pass. As the water became deeper, her sister repeatedly urged Matilda to "hitch-up" in order to remain dry.  Thanks to the Adirondack Mountain Club, we all get to remain dry. 

Hobos From The Train

I started off with a variety of six different Rose of Sharon shrubs in my back yard.  My yard with its southern exposure receives full sun and sports a moist sandy soil; yes, I live on 130 million year old beach front property.  Unfortunately, the ocean has since receded 300 miles east.  My Sharons go to seed each year and all summer long I mow down thousands of baby shoots.  In some areas of the lawn they resemble inch high bonsai-like trees since as hardy as they are, my mower stunts their growth and so they create a smooth carpet of tiny green leaves.  There are also many more Sharon shrubs which have taken root in the woods near my house which were either carried there by shoe, fowl, fauna or a waft of wind. 

One day I offered my choir the opportunity to come dig some up (more like a gentle pull) for their own yards and Walter asked if I could spare about thirty.
"Absolutely," I said. 
I told him I would even transport the shooted shrubs to his house and help him plant them, as he was long in the tooth.

As we traversed to his back yard which had been in his family for three generations, it opened up to a large and capacious temple of green.  He had flower beds, several fountains flowing in braided and songfull peace, benches and threading walkways meandering circuitously to flower laden dead ends.  At the back end of his yard, glimmering through the green distance was a ten foot opening amidst the overgrowth which exposed an asphalt bike path.  Walter said that peripatetic people passing by would often stop and admire his yard and some of them would occasionally tramp on in.  It was his hope that if he could plant two lines of thick shrubs, it would still give something for people to admire but also keep their prying eyes and their trampling trespassing off his grass.  It was a good plan.

While we were working on this rank of roses relocation project, Walter told me that the bike path was not always a promenade for pedestrians.  It was originally a railroad which started out in the city of Fonda, passed through the city of Johnstown, stopped in the glove city of Gloversville, then made its way further up into the Adirondacks making stops at small towns and lakes of various fame and import such as Mayfield, Northville and the Great Sacandaga Lake.  Walt remembered as a child, witnessing the rumble, roar and rattle with precision timing of each train, maintaining the strictest and most reliable of schedules. 

Walter also keenly remembered the multitude of hobos who would be walking the rails and almost daily, one or several of them would cut through his back yard and politely knock on the door asking if there was any food or water to be spared.  Although Walter's family was poor, his mom never turned anyone away empty handed.  Walter said that she could stretch one can of tuna fish into several sandwiches if she had to, and it was always good.  She was a magician in the kitchen.

One day when Walter was about ten years of age, the police knocked on their door and showed his mom a picture of a man whom they had an arrest warrant for.  Walt's mom said that she didn't recognize the man but, she gets a lot of wayfarers knocking on her door looking for water or scraps.  The police told her it was because her house was marked.  She never heard of such a thing.  The officer went on to tell her that the hobos who follow the railways will mark a house or establishment where they may receive assistance or a handout.  The officer then asked,
"Would you like for us to remove the mark for you?"
Walter's mom paused for a good fifteen seconds, looked down at him, then replied,
"No.  Leave it."

The following weekend, Walt, his brother and their dad embarked on a project running an underground pipe from the house leading to the edge of the yard near the tracks where they installed a faucet and placed a basin beneath.  They also placed nearby a small box with tin cups inside.  Walter's mom ramped up her baking and kept a hearty stock of peanut butter and tuna in the pantry for unexpected visitors.  The following summer, they moved their barbeque to the center of the yard and if a transient trekker traipsed by, he would be greeted with a hearty wave.  If he happened to turn into the yard, that was his lucky day.

The Act of Breathing

All living things require oxygen in order to sustain their lives.  Besides simply maintaining life, breathing and breathing properly is also essential to the body’s natural growth and healing process.  Singers, athletes and actors all depend on proper breathing for clarity, control, projection, purity and functionality.  Any professional who requires maximum breathing efficiency may never achieve all his or her potential dreams because time was not spent on the most important of all skills.  Likewise, the average person who takes breathing for granted may not live their full life to its maximum comfort, health or standard of living because a lifetime of optimum maintenance had not been observed. 

Healing, prevention from disease and efficiency of the human body is maintained by a lifetime of  richly oxygenated blood supplied to the organs, structures and systems.  Many symptoms of poor health have their root cause in the fact that oxygenation and circulation of the blood is poor.  It is then that the internal organs, muscles, nerves and glands are not sufficiently nourished, digestion and circulatory systems are stressed, the excretory system does not function properly and the whole body is affected.

Proper breathing is instrumental in maintaining mental and intellectual health, too.  While aiding digestion and energy levels, we will be able to work longer hours and be more calm and relaxed while dealing with the daily stresses of life.  Unfortunately, most people employ shallow, upper chest breathing which is not as effective and beneficial as diaphragmatic breathing.  Breathing from the upper chest and shoulders is inadequate, lazy and very seldom is the blood sufficiently oxygenated.

We are always compressing our diaphragms which diminishes our lung capacity.  Poor posture, no training, lack of dedication or understanding of that training, too much sitting and slumping at our desks, tight fitting clothing, or, the fear of looking fat causes this lack of efficiency.  Likewise, people with an inferiority complex may draw their shoulders forward, pressing their chest together, further perpetuating the habit of inefficient oxygenation.

During breathing, air is drawn into the lungs where it fills tiny air sacs called alveoli which then  feed the air to a sinuous network of blood vessels.  The blood absorbs the oxygen and transports it to every cell in our bodies.  As the air is absorbed, carbon dioxide and other waste products are released from the cells back the lungs, then into the air.   Exhalation is just as important as inhalation.  There needs to be a balance between the level of oxygen and carbon dioxide in the blood for both health and control purposes. 

The Diaphragm.  The diaphragm is a muscle system.  It is fastened to the lowest ribs on the sides, the bottom of the sternum, and to the back at the top of the lumbar region.  Its primary function is as an inhalation muscle.   The diaphragm is not weak.  It cannot be.  It is used every minute of every day.   There is no exercise that can be done that isn’t already being done, to strengthen it.   No matter your body size and condition, your diaphragm is strong.  In order to breath more efficiently, what is needed is to learn to control the diaphragm and the secondary muscles that aid in moving the ribs and lungs.

Upper Chest Breathing

Quite often, when someone is out of breath, they are not actually out of air.  They have merely lost control of the air they already possess because of a collapsed diaphragm.  When the ribs or shoulders raise during inhalation, this is called upper chest breathing and is insufficient because only a small amount of air reaches or enters the lungs.  The full capacity of the lungs is not realized.  The person who engages in this type of breathing tends not to be able to sustain long breaths because they don’t have enough air in the lungs to begin with, and, when they expel that air, they collapse their chest and lower their shoulders causing the air in the lower lungs to become trapped.  Breathing this way can actually cause you to gasp and run out of breath even though you are trying to breath more.  More air will begin to be trapped in the upper chest, too.   Increasingly, the mechanics of breathing are thrown off and accessory muscles of respiration such as shoulders and neck are called into play.  These muscles are only meant to be used in emergencies.  Alone, they are inefficient.

The lungs are meant to be filled lengthwise, not widthwise.  By breathing from the upper chest, only the widened sections of the upper lungs are accommodated with air.

Abdominal Breathing or Belly Breathing.  The diaphragm is one of the largest muscles in the body and is designed to perform maximum work with minimal effort.  When the diaphragm is lowered, the base of the lungs are filled with air to their capacity.  As the shape of the diaphragm changes, it stretches the lungs lengthwise and distributes air evenly throughout the lungs.  When the diaphragm muscle contracts, it creates a vacuum which effortlessly draws air into the lungs.  When you stop contracting, the lungs deflate passively.  If you are gasping for air, you are doing something wrong.

Breathing Exercises (best not done after a large meal)

Lie down on the floor, facing up.  Relax.  That is very important.  It allows you to conserve energy by slowing your body’s metabolism and in turn, reduces the amount of oxygen your body requires.  Inhale normally through your nose.  Remember that the nose helps to warm, filter impurities from, and moisten the air you inhale.  Notice that your shoulders and neck are not needed for breathing.  The trick is to maintain that form while standing.  You may experiment by putting a Kleenex box or book on your chest and seeing if it goes up and down.  Place another one on your stomach.  The one on your stomach should achieve the most elevation as you push it upward with your stomach muscles and draw air into your lungs.  Don’t be alarmed if your chest expands a little, too.  The ribs have small muscles between them called intercostals.  They aid in contracting the chest to aid in moving the air out of the lungs.

Stand up.  Place one hand over your chest and the other hand over your abdomen.  As you breath, push from your abdomen.  Notice that your abdomen hand moves outward.  If your chest hand moves out, you are still chest breathing.

Picture a dresser with three or four drawers.  You don’t want to open the top two or three.  Imagine that you are opening only the lower one.  That is what your breathing should look like.

Now, ideally, your chest doesn’t collapse, but stays slightly expanded.  By having an expanded chest, you are creating more space for oxygen to effortlessly fill.  By collapsing your chest with each exhalation, you have to use valuable energy and time to re-expand.  That is one of the reasons why some singers drag or are late on entrances.  By the time they force their chest back open, a fraction of a beat has already gone by.  But for now, until you know how to breath from the diaphragm, try not to move the chest.

Learning to breath from the abdomen is the key to breathing easier.  It may take time and effort to master, but once you do, you will discover that you can breath easier, more efficiently and you will have more energy.

Other Ways to Aid In Breathing

General Body Condition.  The key to breathing more efficiently is conditioning.  More specifically, endurance.  Not in the lungs or lung function but in the body’s general musculature.  Muscles are in charge of oxygen utilization and carbon dioxide production.  If they are inefficient, unconditioned, or have not had endurance training, they can slow down the amount of oxygen the lungs can filter into the bloodstream.  This too can lead to a shortness of breath.  Flexibility and increased mobility of your muscles and joints are necessary components to overall health.  Muscle toning, strength building, and endurance building exercises are a key component to any breathing program just as proper breathing is a key component to muscle maintenance. 

Posture.  Whether standing or sitting, you must be in a position that helps your breathing muscles work most efficiently.  Essentially standing or sitting with proper posture will be taking the load off of you other muscles that are not designed to be involved in the breathing process.  

Experiment with posture while you sing or breath.  Start by standing up straight and tall with your feet spaced at your shoulder width.  Take a few preparatory breaths.   Now hang your head forward with your chin touching your chest.  Try singing or breathing while paying close attention to how your throat and chest feels.

Perform the same exercise, beginning with good form, but try it with your shoulders raised.  Then with your shoulders forward.  Try it bent over.  Try it looking sideways.  Try it while slouching in a chair.  Try it slumped over a table. 

Doing it the wrong way is often a good method in discovering the right way.  Try each position slowly and be sure to alternate between good posture and poor posture each time so that your body gets used to feeling good and right.  Then, always do it right.

Making your own lungs.

To further your understanding of how the lungs work, you may wish to build your own lungs, chest and diaphragm.  Here are the materials you will need:

-A clear plastic bottle.  Preferably made with thick or stiff plastic.
-One large balloon.
-Two small balloons.
-A two way or “Y” copper pipe.  These can be found in the plumbing section of any hardware store.
-Molding putty.
-Two rubber bands.

Cut the bottom of the bottle off.

Attach your two small balloons to the “Y” pipe.  You may wish to wrap the rubber bands around them to ensure that they stay on.

Insert the “Y” pipe into the bottle with the “Y” pointing down.  Use the putty to seal and stabalize the top of the “Y” pipe which should stick out the top of the bottle.

Cut the bottom off of the large balloon.

Tie a knot in the neck of the balloon.

Stretch the cut end of the balloon over the open bottom end of the bottle.

Gently pull on the base balloon (your diaphragm lowering).   Notice how the internal balloons (lungs) fill with air.

You can find these instructions on YouTube.   Here is one example of one model in action:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AAsGCbvFJ8I