Friday, December 27, 2013

On The Third day of Christmas . . .

. . .  my true love gave to me.

Dear true loves,

I hope you are being nice to these artists and not judging them.  So with that in mind, for today I chose a song by someone with a great deal of skill and talent.  Every time I hear this poignant and porcine version of "Blue Christmas" it brings tears to my eyes.   I'm sure it will have the same effect on you.  The woman in the background is certainly enjoying herself.

http://youtu.be/a5UHeF3ND5w

Bonus Track:  http://youtu.be/NGwFOho1oVg

You all know who Squeaky is.  She lives about one hour from me in the town of Marcy.  She was  in the news quite often as her neighbors were trying to run her out of town.  So, today's twofer comes from the Reverend Armstrong. 

I LOVE the "I've got [Christmas] on my fingers." reference.  Does anyone get it?  I wonder if Glen knew it's true meaning.

-Malcolm.
Oel ngati kameie

Thursday, December 26, 2013

On The Second day of Christmas . . .

Can you ever get enough of "Sleigh Ride?"   Here is another rendition.  I believe this woman has performed in every church talent show I've ever played.  In this musical offering she gives her all.  Good for her.

http://youtu.be/5xI1uPeAi_Q

How about those rabid, foaming at the mouth people in the mall protesting to "Keep Christ in Christmas" or, to take Him out?  The war on Christmas.  Even when people write "Xmas," they are keeping Christ in Christmas because the first letter in the Greek word for 'Christ' is 'chi,' and the Greek letter 'chi' is represented by a symbol similar to the letter 'X' in the modern Roman alphabet. Hence "Xmas" is indeed perfectly legitimate abbreviation for the word "Christmas."  And those "Happy Holiday" people, the word comes from Old English hāligdæg, from hālig holy + dæg day.  "Holiday" means "Holy Day" so they are still wishing you a holy day.  These are just very old artifacts of different languages and if anyone wants to get religion out of their language, good luck with that.

These attempts at non-denominational holiday tidings come as younger Americans seem to be shrugging their shoulders at going to church, at organized religion and hypocritical philosophies.   But, you know, like, I mean, I resonate with them for I am sick and tired of every week when Thursday comes around; There are people who want to take Thor out of Thursday because it might offend someone.  Well, how about all of the pagans?  What out offending them because you are taking Thor out of Thursday?  Thursday is "Thor's" - day!  If you aren't recognizing Thor then who are you recognizing?  Thursday is recognizing the Son of Odin!  Thursday is one of the few days left that we can recognize Thor!  Leave that day alone and tell everyone "Blithe Thor's day," not "Happy Thursday."

If you find yourself surfing the net and are in the market for a new car, check out this commercial:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLIkjWFNAKI

-Malcolm.
nuqDaq 'oH puchpa''e'

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

On The First Day Of Christmas . . .

Merry Christmas friends, loved ones, total strangers, and those affectionately known as "other."  My twelve day gift to you is a song.  Twelve of them.  They come from all over the internet.  Two years ago I gifted copies of a CD featuring 48 renditions of "The Star Spangled Banner."  How could I top that, you're thinking?  (looks left, looks right, whispers) buckle your seat belts . . .

As with so much of what's found online, the origins of today's "Sleigh Ride" offering are shrouded in mystery.  To be honest, this trumpet player is too bad to be this bad.  Someone this bad wouldn't have his degree of confidence.  I like him.  Very much like the famed "Jonathan and Darlene," I think we've been had.

http://youtu.be/_ZH6VzrHORA

Because today is the first day of Christmas, I am going to proffer upon you a twofer.  Jimmied into this sprawling collection is this tribute to every Karaoke bar singer, "Feliz Navidad." 

http://youtu.be/laEQAW3_Sjs

If you have time, check out Henrietta and Merna:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gg7uGL6Ku20

Friday, December 20, 2013

Dry or Beware

About ten years ago I went into a liquor store to get a bottle of something for a party.  There was a wine on sale with a ten dollar rebate on it so I picked that one out.   After paying, I noted that I wasn't handed a receipt.  The cashier threw it behind the counter, so I asked for one.  The cashier acted dumb and fished it out for me.  When I got home, the rebate required both my original receipt and the UPC sticker on the bottle.  It was then that I noticed that the label was taped on.  I sent everything in anyway.  I got a letter back saying that the bar code did not correspond with the bottle I purchased and thus it was not elibible for a rebate. 

Piecing everything together, I surmised that the liquor store was swapping UPC codes on the bottles, not giving receipts to the customers and cashing them in for themselves.  I called the police to report this but they said that this was small potatoes and not worth their time pursuing. 

Just today, my friend Kathy went into a different liquor store to purchase a bottle of wine and like me, she chose a bottle which offered a rebate.  She too wasn't offered a receipt and had to ask for it.  The cashier yelled something in another language to a co-worker and he replied in that language, then the cashier printed out the receipt and gave it to Kathy.  When Kathy got home, she read the instructions for the rebate and it said that the receipt had to be original and not a duplicate.  Kathy looked at her receipt and at the top it said "Duplicate Copy."  She is gong to try to send it in anyway.   Most likely she is out of luck and the liquor store is going to use the receipt to get the rebate. 

I wonder how many liquor stores have been ripping off customers of their rebates and if anyone will ever do anything about it.

Ligaments, Tendons and Bumps, Oh My!

A 20 year old piano major approached me about two months ago because she was experiencing some disturbing symptoms and was wondering if I could help her.  Amy wasn't having any discernible problem playing but her plaint was when she woke up in the morning or in the middle of the night, her three middle fingers were stiff, almost locked and painful.  After she slowly flexed them a few times they were fine and they didn't give her any problems until the next morning.  Her teacher was assigning several difficult works for her to study and forcing her to play with flat fingers so I took about ten minutes to feel her hands and fingers and immediately knew what her problem was. 

Our tendons are made up of thousands of fibers all neatly bundled together, those bundles are bundled, then those bundles are bundled several times over and finally the entire massed bundle makes up a tendon about the size of a linguini and the tendon as a whole is protected in a lubricated sheath where it can glide back and forth effortlessly. 

Think of the tendon as a plastic, polypropylene, polyester or nylon braided rope.  The single rope as a whole is actually made up of thousands of smaller fibers making the whole greater than the individual parts.  Every hiker, camper or construction worker knows that when you cut one of these ropes you need to finish off the ends by melting or burning it.  This creates a little knot of melted materiel and prevents the rope from fraying.  Likewise, as the rope is used, stretched, dragged over edges and exposed to friction, along the path of the rope there will be fraying.  Shakespeare said it nicely, "Take but degree away, untune that string, And, hark, what discord follows!"  Conversely, allow a rope to constantly fray, And hark, what discord follows. 

The body repairs frayed tendons much the same, by putting little knots of scar tissue where damage has occurred.  Doctors often refer to these knots as nodules.  They can be quite painful and can eventually cause the finger to lock up.  Laymen will refer this symptom as "trigger finger."  Picture a sweater with a hole in it.  If you were to sew up the hole, there would be a little knot there.  Although the hole is now healed, the sweater won't wear as effortless as it used to.  Every thread in a sweater is connected to every other thread and every movement will pull on that knot.  That is why diagnosing hand issues is so difficult.  The pain may be in the forearm but that is where the tissue is giving way because there is a knot in the palm.

When you flex your flexor muscles in your forearm, your muscles pull your long flexor tendon which is attached all the way to the tip of your finger and your finger bends.  If there is a little knot or nodule anywhere in the sheath, usually near a joint or in the palm, the nodule can get snagged in the sheath and lock the finger.  Forcing it open can cause more tearing and the build up of even more scar tissue.  A downward spiral begins;  Hark, what discord follows.  As I felt Amy's hand, I could feel the little nodule bumps of scar tissue gliding back and forth. 

Have you ever heard about the legend of the Gordian Knot?  It was a knot so complicated that it was impossible to solve or unravel.  Thousands tried but none were successful until Alexander the Great attempted to untie the knot. When he could not find the end to the knot to unbind it, he sliced it in half with a stroke of his sword.  This technique of problem solving was called the "Alexandrian solution."  A technique many doctors use today. 

If Amy were to go see a doctor, the first thing he may suggest is to stop playing the piano for weeks or months, rest and wear a brace.  Rest in these situations is not going to help.  The body's defense against this kind of damage is to create scar tissue which is not flexible and will lock the tissue in place much like a spider web can entomb and insect.  Scar tissue is what caused her problem in the first place.  If you were to take an unraveled rope and just throw it in a pile, it would be in a tangled mess of a knot.  Letting it sit there for six months will not untangle it.  You need to slowly and patiently unravel it and straighten it out and then roll it back up neatly.  That is what our bodies want us to do.  When it comes to scar tissue, proper movement promotes healing, not rest.

A second treatment a doctor may prescribe Amy is physical therapy.  This is close to the solution because as I said, proper movement promotes healing but PT most likely will not solve her problem.  She will receive massage therapy, contrast baths, working with weights and pulleys, molding clay, wax and other muscle building techniques, but, when Amy goes home to her piano, all the physical therapy in the world won't be able to counteract the damage she will do in the privacy of her own home or practice room.  Like the Battle of Thermopylae, it doesn't matter how many Persians march through the pass, the Greeks had the upper hand.

A third treatment option will most likely be a cortisone shot.  Cortisone melts tissue.  If the doctor can inject the cortisone directly into the nodule he can melt it away, along with anything else which comes in contact with the cortisone.  No thank you.

A final treatment will be surgery where they will cut the sheath or scrape the nodule off the tendon and of course, the body will respond to the surgery by creating - say it with me - "scar tissue."  The good news is during the several months it takes to fully heal, with PT, you will have full control over your fingers again.  This may be a solution for the average person, however, for a concert pianist, the result could be devastating. 

So what was Amy's problem causing her symptoms?  It was simply her flat finger technique.  Now, I'm not a university piano professor so I don't want to comment on his desire for Amy to play with flat fingers.  What I do know is that the finger is made up of several bones which neatly line up and are held together by ligaments, pulled by tendons and controlled by muscle.  If I were to poke you in the eye, I would align my fingers so all the bones were in a straight line for maximum eye poking jabs.  A curved finger would not do the job as effectively.  When playing the piano, the opposite is true. 

There are two ways I teach my students to find their optimal finger alignment or kinetic chain.  The first is to lay on the floor, flat on their backs with bended knee.  With their arm to their side, gently isolate one finger and lightly press it to the floor while lifting the whole arm off the floor.  Then gently rotate, swivel and explore a circle with the finger touching one spot on the floor.  Not to get all Zen here, but as in everything in life, it is in the imbalance where we can find the balance.  If you shift too far forward you will feel the tension in the front joint of the finger, too far back you will feel the tension in the tendon beneath.  If you hyper-extend the finger, you will experience that discomfort, too.  Do this will all five fingers and upon discovering the perfect effortless alignment, look at the finger and palm and take note of the perfect curve much like the dome of a cathedral ceiling.  That is the finger at its optimal strength where the load bearing bones are properly aligned by the tendons.   A second method of finding this alignment is to stand with your arms to your side.  Shake your hands until they are loose then let them hang to your side. Without moving a single finger, raise your hand and look at your fingers and palm.  They should be in perfect alignment for optimal piano playing power. 

It is the bones that depress a key and it is the tendon which puts the bone in place to play it.  Amy's flat finger technique was forcing the tendons to play the key and as a result was fraying her tendons and ligaments like a nylon rope.   I'll repeat, it is the tendon which aligns the bone and the bone which presses the key down through the use of gravity and the weight of the arm.  Tendons are for alignment, ligaments hold the bones together, bones do the load bearing work.  Deviate from nature's design and you're going to have problems.  These ligament, bone, muscle and tendon duties are not interchangeable.  Can we do it?  Sure.  Should we?  I can rob banks and make a lot of money but eventually I'll get caught and arrested.

After only two months of study with me, Amy's symptoms have pretty much disappeared and she stopped taking lessons. That is really unfortunate for her as she has several other problems her university piano professor has not addressed.  She also has a pretty bad ulnar deviation of the wrist and she has adduction and abduction issues with her thumb.  The combination of these two movements will eventually strain the tendon in her thumb creating a leakage of synovium fluid, the lubricant within the tendon sheath, and create a ganglion cyst or, "Bible Bump."  Guess how Dr. Alexander will treat this? 

-Malcolm Kogut (not a doctor, either).

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Others

This is an old spiritual song of inspiration that my mother used to sing to me.  She also had an old scratchy recording of Tennessee Ernie Ford singing it.   This song and my mother's example of selfless service to others was very formative for me.  Because of her example and constant encouragement to help other people, I have always sought to help people by volunteering at a homeless shelter, a suicide hotline, 211, nursing homes, the VA hospital and many other places.  I have even been in the right place at the right time to save the lives of seven people.  One was an eight year old by from drowning, a fifteen year old boy who fell from a cliff, an elderly blind woman about to walk out onto a busy highway, a diabetic man that I twice discovered him lapsed into a coma, a woman who was choking, catching a man who passed out and was about to fall and my mother herself on numerous occasions.  I also prevented two house fires, one in my own home as a teen and the other in the home of an elderly woman who forgot that she had food cooking on her stove. 

When my mother was in a morphine induced coma, I slept on the floor by her bed for about two weeks as I nursed her to new life.  It was both the most painful and beautiful thing I have ever done.  While she was in a coma, I played her Tennessee Ernie Ford record over and over for her.  Shortly after she died, in 2001, I penned this little arrangement of "Others" and I recently found it so, I thought I would upload it. 

In my mother's final year she had no money and said that she wanted to go shopping so I offered to take her.  She said that she didn't have any money so I gave her $20 (a lot in those days).  As we were driving for the mall, she told me to stop in a little thrift shop which served the poor.  She went inside and found this ugly multi-colored sweater which was marked for fifty cents.  She gave the $20 to the lady who ran the thrift shop and told her to keep the change.  She was always doing little things like that.  After she died I brought all my mom's clothes to that thrift shop, including that sweater.  Upon telling my friend Carol that story, she drove an hour to that thrift shop and bought the sweater.  It was still fifty cents.

Now, to kill this otherwise wonderful tale, the thrift shop served a lot of poor and had done a lot of good work for several decades, but it was also always under fiscal duress itself.  All of the local churches supported it with special collections.  When the woman who ran it died, they discovered that she had three million dollars in her personal accounts.  Her children inherited it and kept it. 

For a copy of the sheet music:
http://www.free-scores.com/download-sheet-music.php?pdf=59516
To hear Ford singing it:
http://youtu.be/sD7W74LQb94

Lord, help me live from day to day
In such a self-forgetful way
That even when I kneel to pray
My prayer shall be for—Others.

Refrain

Others, Lord, yes others,
Let this my motto be,
Help me to live for others,
That I may live like Thee.

Help me in all the work I do
To ever be sincere and true
And know that all I’d do for You
Must needs be done for—Others.

Refrain

Let “Self” be crucified and slain
And buried deep: and all in vain
May efforts be to rise again,
Unless to live for—Others.

Refrain

And when my work on earth is done,
And my new work in Heav’n’s begun,
May I forget the crown I’ve won,
While thinking still of—Others.

Refrain

-Malcolm Kogut.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Criminalizing Life in the United States

A new study came out today that said 49% of the drivers on the road text while they drive.  Another study said 4 out of 5 college students text while driving.  Of course, politicians will now want to draft new legislation to increase the penalties on top of the already existing penalties for texting while driving.  Police departments will get additional grant money to purchase more vehicles so they can peer down into your vehicle to see if you are texting in your lap.  Senators will get to appear on TV news spots so they can inform the public of the wonderful job they are doing to protect you.

Texting laws don't actually make our roads more safe, they make them less safe.  If 50% of drivers are texting, which is against the law, making another law isn't going to stop them.   They obviously don't care about the law or they think they can get away with it (those criminals).  When cell phones first came out, I used to see people texting all the time by holding their phone up in front of their steering wheel so they could see both the road and their phone.  Now that it is against the law and they don't want to get caught, they text in their laps where they have to take their eyes off the road.  This is more dangerous than playing with your GPS, radio or cruise control.  The roads were more safe when they held their phones up to the road.  These laws have probably caused more accidents than they prevented.  People who text are not going to stop texting.  Period.  It's against the law to drive drunk, too.  What about marijuana, burglary, and prostitution?  Laws only stop honest people because either they are afraid of getting caught or the are educated by the law.

If our politicians rescinded the texting law and promoted education about the dangers of texting while driving, our roads would be more safe because the people who don't care about their own life or your life will at least be texting back up in the open where they can  maintain partial eye contact with the road.  This way, also, the taxpayer won't have to foot the bill for police departments to purchase new undercover SUV and vans used to catch people texting.  There will also be less arrests, court costs, incarceration, fines, increased insurance rates and the ancillary burden to the pocketbooks of the people who don't break the law.

Our politicians are excellent at creating laws that don't work and cost us more than they save.  Skylar Capo was 11 years old when she rescued a woodpecker who was about to be eaten by a cat.  Since the bird was injured, she wanted to nurse it back to health and she carried it to a local hardware store to get a cage for it.  While there, a USFWS agent issued a $600 ticket to Skylar and informed her that she faced up to one year in prison for violating a federal law against transporting migratory birds. 

Carey Mills procured all the state and local permits to build a camp on his waterfront property.  The day he began clearing for what was to be the foundation, the EPA arrested him for violating the Clean Water Act and he did 21 months in prison despite getting permits from the state. 

Steven Kinder ran a caviar business on the Ohio River which forms the Ohio-Kentucky border.  Mr. Kinder was arrested because he reported that his business was in Kentucky but was seen harvesting from "Ohio waters."  He faced $250,000 in fines and five years in prison.  He took a plea deal for three years probation and a $5,000 fine.

Lisa Snyder was a say-at-home mom and as a favor to her Michigan neighbors, would watch the local children for 15 minutes every morning until they caught the bus - because the bus stop was in front of her house.  When the police caught wind of this, she was threatened with 90 days in jail for operating a daycare and offering "babysitting services" without a license. 

Jeff Counceller and his wife found an injured baby deer and nursed it back to health.  Jeff was charged with possession of a deer and the animal was to be euthanized per state law.  Fortunately it "escaped."  The greater lesson is not to post pictures to Facebook.

Eddie Anderson of Idaho took his son camping where they found an "Indian" arrowhead.  He found himself facing two years in prison for theft of archaeological resources and  a $1,500 fine but took a plea deal for one year of probation.  The greater lesson is not to post these finds to Facebook.

Nancy Black operates a whale watching business and had videotape of a crew member whistling at whales to get them to stay near the boat.  After viewing the footage, NOAA burst into her home demanding the unedited tapes of the day in question.  She is facing 20 years in prison for withholding evidence.  The greater lesson is not to post your life to Facebook.

Ashley Warden was fined $2,500 after her three year old son Dillan pulled down his pants to urinate in his front yard.  A police officer spotted him committing this crime of exposure and he was facing charges and being put on the sex offender registry. 

Ann videotaped her husband changing their grandson's diaper.  Grandpa tickled the boy's "new-no" as he wriggled with glee and laughter. After posting pictures on their Facebook page, Ann was charged with distribution of child pornography and her husband did five years for molestation.  They are now registered sex offenders and were forced to move from their home of 40 years due to residency restrictions.  

Gary Harrington dug three ponds on his property to control rain water and snow runoff.  Gary was sentenced to 30 days in jail for collecting rainwater without a permit, which is against the law in Oregon.  He is now forced to continually drain his ponds.

Abner Schoenwetter of Florida shipped some marginally small lobsters in plastic bags to prevent leakage.  By law, lobster can only be transported in cardboard.  Abner was sentenced to eight years in prison because he didn't know of this regulation. 

Wallerstein and Wylie conducted a study of 3,000 New Yorkers who have never been arrested and found that 91% of them have "innocently" committed felonies but were not caught.  100% of them committed a misdemeanor of some type.  The next time you go out in public, know this, you are most likely walking among criminals. 

What can you do to reverse the orvercriminalization caused by politicians who feel they have to do SOMEthing in order to justify their high salaries?  Sign up for email updates from Heritage.org, NACDL.org, RightOnCrime.com, ACLJ.org, JusticeFellowship.org, ACLU.org, ALEC.org, FAMM.org.  Share your concerns with your elected representatives.  Demand that they focus on rescinding laws rather than pyramiding more laws on top of more laws.