. . . with “Rhyme on My Hands,” a Tribute to Comic Songs

A pudgy high-school kid who likes classical music isn’t bound for much of a social life, especially in the photogenic wilds of Fairfield County, Connecticut. Fortunately for Byron Nilsson, there was salvation. It came in the form of an LP he swiped from a radio station in nearby Danbury, an album on the back of which one song title was scribbled out, with the added inscription: “NOT SUITABLE FOR AIRPLAY.” The album was “Noël Coward in Las Vegas.” The song was “Uncle Harry.” The lyrics were mildly suggestive.

That Coward album – and a book of Tom Lehrer songs and recordings by Flanders & Swann – inspired a love of well-crafted light verse. Which means it rhymes. And can get a delightfully nasty before you realize it. Byron not only enjoyed those songs, he learned them. His social life didn’t improve, but he gained a measure of frightened respect.

“Rhyme on My Hands” is the latest excuse for a cabaret performance by Byron and his longtime musical director, Malcolm Kogut, spinning the fantastic story of how he weathered a life of scorn and heartache in order to sing these songs for you. Songs like “Lydia the Tattooed Lady,” “The Irish Ballad,” “The Sloth,” and “The Butler’s Song” will liven the proceedings.

The show takes place at 3 PM Sunday, January 2016, at the legendary Caffè Lena (47 Phila Street, Saratoga Springs) and tickets are available at brownpapertickets.com or by calling 1-800-838-3006. Their recent Valentine’s Day and Christmas shows played to sold-out houses, so they’re hoping they can inveigle an audience once more. Warm yourself on a chilly afternoon – or come see this show!

The "Lost" or "Forgotten" Sprakers Falls at Flat Creek

I had heard of and seen pictures of the fabled Sprakers Falls but couldn't verify their existence or location from any online source.  Internet searches only yielded that the waterfall is rumored to be near the town of Sprakers or is "lost."

My friend Doug searched a topo map and upon further investigation of drone maps, they helped me to discern where I thought the falls to be.

We parked at an Eerie Canal Bike Path parking lot across from the Sprakers Reformed Church.  Our original plan was to drive up Canyon Road and look for parking spots or herd trails leading into the canyon but upon perusal of the Canyon Road entrance, a narrow, single lane, no shoulder dirt road, we decided to park at the lot and traverse up the creek.

Looking at the shaded spot on the topo map I calculated that the waterfall was only eight tenths of a mile upstream.  I used a phone app called MAPMYHIKE and at an average speed of 1.7 mph and a distance of about one mile, 35 minutes and 12 seconds later we arrived at the falls.

The water level in the creek seemed low and very manageable.  Evidence of high water debris deposits and entanglements showed that the creek must have recently been a raging river up to four feet deep.  At that level it would have been absolutely unnavigable.

We intentionally wore old sneakers and simply trudged through the water which was actually a welcome relief as the temperatures were a humid 85 degrees.  There were a few locations where the water was about four feet deep and there was one impressive swimming hole beneath a medium sized  waterfall half way upstream which had no discernible bottom.  It was a fine reward for the intrepid adventurer.  At this point we could hear the turbulent roar of the larger falls slightly upstream.

The rocks in the stream were predominately slimy and slippery.  Bristling with mistrust, whenever we could, we hopped on the top of dry rocks or walked along the shore.  I advise bringing a walking stick to catch your balance should you slip in the slime or mud which sometimes caked the shoreline.  I speak from experience.

There was evidence of wild life such as the footprints of deer and racoon.  We did see two hawks, possibly a Cooper and Sharpshin.  There were an assortment of smaller birds plus two Kingfishers who zigzagged the stream ahead of us.  In the water there were minnows and crayfish.  At one point the air became rapidly charged with the  unmistakable effluvium of skunk and at another there was a strong odor of rotting flesh.  We looked around for its source but it was probably above the creek-line in the woods and the scent of decay was just wafting down the canyon walls.

The actual waterfall flume was resplendent and impressive with a small grotto hollowed out to the right of the main fall.  The water was turgid, most likely with the water of the previous days storm.  There was poison ivy up in the grotto area so we didn't venture too far under its overhang.  Our original plan was to climb the falls and bushwhack to Canyon Road then take the road down from there.  I was told there were private homes up there but while walking upstream along the creek bank there were no discernible trails or access to properties above the canyon.

The creek had an assortment of man made debris such as car bumpers, radiators, a bike frame and tires.  Most likely these were washed down from a dump site or farm after various heavy rains over the years.

Around the actual waterfall, there was evidence of human partiers who left their empty soda and beer cans for others to enjoy.  My friend Doug would have carried them out but I am more passive aggressive and left them in the hope that should they ever return they will be ashamed at seeing the mess that they left. Probably not.  Only now do I realize that after the next storm, their nickel valued aluminum detritus will be transported downstream to eventually adorn the mighty Mohawk River.

Video - Malcolm Kogut
Music Patrick Moraz from the album THE STORY OF I

Three Day Hike

These are photos from a three day hike through the Adirondack Mountain range in upstate NY. We ascended eight arresting peaks in twelve hour excursions.  The steep ascents, rocks and roots in the trail, crowded trails, occasional black flies and carrying about four liters of water made for an arduous trip but the worst offender was the 90 degree temperatures and high humidity.  I need to invest in more moisture wicking clothing. Most all of the mountain streams were dry so there was no chance of filtering water en route.  Pictured are my partners in crime, Doug, Jim and me, Malcolm Kogut.

The pictures include Ausable Lake from Blake Mountain, the fire tower at the top of St. Regis mountain, a distant view of Giant, Noonmark and Sawteeth, the ridge walk of Whiteface Mountain, Mirror Lake in Lake Placid and a sign designating the "Ladies Mile" trail from back in the day when women were considered the more "dainty" of the sexes.

Why the Church is Losing Membership

Running Hawk of the Lakota Nation once said that religion is for people who are afraid of Hell.  Spirituality is for people who have already been there.  Are our churches filled with the first or latter and how does that affect the growth of the church?

People are leaving the institutional church in droves.  Many of the peripatetic people are not taking the time to technically leave, they are just not going anymore.  Despite that, there are a few churches in my area who are boasting that their congregations are bursting at the seams but they are just cherry picking their data.  One church dropped from five Masses each weekend down to two.  The priest at that church reports that his two Masses are packed every Sunday; consolidating five Masses into two is not growth.  Another pastor was interviewed by a local paper where he said that his church has seen significant growth and every Mass is packed.  He failed to mention that the bishop of his diocese closed three other churches in his community and his church simply picked up the people who lost their buildings.  New people where not suddenly going to church, regular attendees just got displaced and had to find a new home.

I have heard all the excuses why people are leaving the church such as society is lost, or they are sexually deviant, they don't beleive in God, they think the church is full of hypocrites, the church worships money, that gays and atheists and politicians and Hollywood have destroyed morality and our society of lemmings is blindly following.  All that may be true to a certain extent but those people are still not the problem, the church is. Ultimately the church is terrible at choosing which battles to fight and how to reach out to those who see the church as irrelevant.

A church was hiring a new music director and the best candidate who had promising ideas and talent turned out to have a felony record.  Instead of hiring him they hired the next guy in line who lacked vision, worshiped music and consequently destroyed their existing music program.  That church chose to die rather than forgive.  They failed to walk the walk and realize that Jesus, a convicted felon himself, while on the cross didn't take an honest man to paradise with him but another convicted felon.  That church lost members who were not only frustrated by the diminished music program but some people left because an unforgiving church was not a church they wanted to be part of or thought they belonged to. Ultimately, churches would do well to replace their staff with people who only have the goals of serving God.

Each day our communities are beleaguered with violence, hunger, homelessness, drug abuse, racism and judgmentalism.  Meanwhile our churches are battling with issues such as, do we take out the kneelers or leave them in?   Should we have background checks to protect our children?  Should we put in pew cushions and carpet?  Do we buy a pipe organ or electric organ?   Should our music be more upbeat and contemporary?  Should we purchase a pool table for our youth group room?

Now to be fair, there are churches who address the big issues of violence, hunger, homelessness, drug abuse, racism and judgmentalism very well.  Most people would very much like to be part of those solutions but when the church bickers about something other, it can be a turn off.  The decision to put in a carpet may not be the reason someone leaves a church but it could be the proverbial straw that breaks the camel's back.  Usually there have been a series of disillusionment or a longing for something more.  The church should work on ministry and leave the building issues to the professionals they hire.

I once had a choir member who didn't like the fact that our church, the church she was raised in, was a liturgical church.  She longed for a more charismatic approach to worship.  She said that the church used an archaic and dusty language which didn't resonate with her.  It didn't give her comfort and she said that the message she heard each Sunday wasn't worth hearing.  When she came to me expressing this ache in her heart and that she was interested in the local Assembly of God congregation, I didn't try to talk her out of it.  She was no good to us if she was unhappy and guilt ridden.  I told her to try them out for a few months and if that style of worship made her feel closer to God and the community, then she had my blessing but, our door was always open for her if she ever wanted to come back.  We never saw her again but she became very active in her new worshiping community's food bank and soup kitchen.  She went on to organize a mission trip to South America.  For her and her spiritual needs, she chose right.  She is no longer at war with herself and the church and now her battleground is with poverty.  Who knew this Milquetoast of a person had it in her to become a General in the army.  That is what happens when you have faith and there is an opportunity to turn it loose.

Another reason people may choose another church is for their Sunday production value.  People may have joined their church because of the music but, I don't want people to come for the music.  Instead I want my music to inspire them to action, to be re-energized, to oxygenate their blood, to transform them, to remind them of a Kaddosh moment from their life, to be part of an awakening to a call for action, to feel joy.  Many church organists are just organists.  That is too bad. 

The music we sing should not simply be a song that fits into a time slot like most musical offerings in our worship services are.  It should speak to the needs of the community, not preach to nor entertain them.  Much like the words of an uninspired preacher, music can also speak in a foreign dusty tongue.  Some of our music holds onto dusty words that have no resonance in the ears of society, not realizing that just singing those words louder or faster isn't the answer.  Religious buzzwords and fancy octavos used to work 50 years ago but they don't anymore.  This spiritualized insider-language keeps regular people at a distance. People need the music to speak in a language that they can understand. They long to sing songs that pertain to what is happening in their lives this day.  People don’t need to be dazzled with big production numbers larded with churchy words that are about eschatological frameworks and theological systems or warm and fuzzy theology.

Too many organists don't see how pastoral and ministerial their work is.  I knew an organist who never played the same song twice in a church.  He would date each piece and never repeat it again.  People love to hear their favorite song over and over and if something an organist plays or the choir sings resonates with people, why not use it again?  The same holds true for hymns.  I fell in love with a new song called "You Are Mine" and I thought it would serve my parish well for funeral purposes and decided to use it every week for a month.  The confirmation class liked it and asked if I would play it for their confirmation Mass and the song became a comfort and favorite of the parish over time.  Another song I selected for a whole month was "All Are Welcome."  The city was planning to put up a parole shelter next door to the church and the church was protesting so I thought that the congregation needed to hear that message over and over again.  The church lost the battle and the parole shelter was put in.  Some members left.  All are not welcome.

A lot of churches have drastically changed their gimmicky worship styles to include lights, stages, elaborate sound systems, bands, videos screens, computer graphics, cameras and big production numbers from the praise band.  In reality this is just noise to those who are really seeking an encounter with God.  It is a distraction that has little importance, purpose and applicability to the rest of their week, or for people who are trying to grapple with the painful and confusing issues in the trenches of their real lives.

I have nothing against tech, I use it myself.  I own four cameras, mixing boards, a switch box and the ability to stream live but I don't use those tools other than for recitals.  If my church wanted to move in that direction for ministerial purposes then I'd gladly donate my expertise for that purpose but, the gimmick of a church "rock show" simply doesn't make a difference in peoples' lives.  People can find entertainment anywhere.  Church shouldn't be entertaining.  Church  should challenge us and inspire us to do something with our lives.  Yes, many people who don't know what they are looking for may choose a church that offers entertainment but, that is all those churches may have and it requires a lot of energy to maintain that illusion.  "Ignore the man behind the curtain."

There is a church near me who has a full time youth minister and a youth group budget of about $50,000 per year.  The youth have their own service, plan all the music and readings and no adults are permitted to attend that service.  The music by most standards would be  deemed liturgically inappropriate for they use pop songs in place of sacred music such as "Lean on Me" and "Don't Stop Believin'."  They average over 200 teens each week and despite that, they don't have a collection anymore because it would usually yield about ten bucks.   Their swanky teen lounge sports a pool table, ping pong table, Foosball table, several sofas, a small kitchen, a 54 inch flat screen TV, a game console and WiFi.  Post service activity include copious amounts of pizza and soda.  For a teen on Sunday night, it's the place to be.  When the teens graduate high school, they are not permitted to come back because they are now adults nor do they bother to join the church they don't know.  The whole program is a wash financially and only gives an outward appearance of being spiritually alive, active and having a reputation for success.  I'm sure many will disagree about the efficacy of the program but the numbers don't lie because on Sunday morning the youngest person in attendance at the normal Mass is 60 years old because the kids just don't ever come back.  I bet most youth programs are much the same.  Dollar for dollar, they are not a very good investment. Kids, like adults, yearn for a message worth sharing and an opportunity to act on it and make a difference, but it’s hard to hear that message above gimmicky pyrotechnics.

Some friends of mine heard that message and sent their daughter to Arizona one summer to help build housing for the poor.  She came back a different person, with vision, drive and the decision to dedicate her life in service of the poor.  She really wants to become a priest in the Roman Catholic Church but we know that isn't going to happen.  That's another issue which drives our contemporary society away.  Like many issues, the church is usually on the other side of popular opinion.

I knew a Methodist pastor who wanted to start a satellite church in a strip mall in a poor section of a nearby city.  They would move their food pantry there and offer counseling with meeting rooms and ancillary worship space.  His parish council shot down the idea citing that it would be expensive and they wouldn't have the volunteers to run it.  I applaud the pastor's vision - instead of trying to lure people to the church, to instead go out to where the people already are.  Just because the parish council didn't think anyone in the parish would volunteer didn't mean that once people found out about this ministry they wouldn't take part or join.  Especially people in the community where this vital ministry would have been offered.  The parish council couldn't see past its own building. Ironically this church has a large wooden sign above their front door which can only be seen as you leave the church to the parking lot.  It says "Enter." When you leave the church you are entering the mission field.  The best way to reach the people who don't come to church is to get out of the building and go to them.  Get out of the building!

Churches don't walk the walk.  My dear friend Maggie's husband was arrested for a consensual yet illegal sex crime with a teenager.  They were immediately ostracized from their church (as was the victim, strangely).  When they approached the pastors at several other churches about joining, the answer was always the same; they were not welcome.  Some churches are not very forgiving or loving or welcoming.  That was too bad for the many churches who turned their backs on them as Maggie and her husband are very well off financially and tithe over $100 weekly.  Unable to find a church who accepted sinners, they formed their own little living room church with several friends who were more forgiving and they all left their respective churches to create their own.

When two hurricanes struck my area, I went out with a small band of volunteers to help people with cleanup.  We encountered many people who lost their homes and were sleeping in their cars.  When they called FEMA for help, they were told to call Catholic Charities who told them to call United Way who told them to call Family and Children's Services who told them to call 211 who told them to call . . . FEMA!  Many of these people haven't had a good meal, a shower or clean clothes and were living day by day waiting for help to arrive.  I knew there was nothing I could do to fix their dilemma but I was telling Maggie that I wanted to help them in some small way that could at least give them hope.  That Sunday when Maggie's living room church of about ten people gathered, she raised $5,000.  I then went out with the cash and when I encountered people living in their car or in distress, I gave them $100 a piece and told them to go get a good meal, go get a good night sleep in a hotel, or go buy some necessities.  That little band of ostracized sinners did more for the homeless than a church full of "good" people.

So, if Jesus spent his time with prostitutes, murderers, thieves, lepers and outcasts, why can't the church?  Hate begets hate and when the church hates, they lose but, they don't know it.  They don't know what they don't know.  In reality, all are not welcome in our churches despite the pastors regurgitating it on Sunday.  That is part of the reason people are leaving the church because some of us are honest to admit that we are sinners and know that the "good" people in our churches would not accept us if they knew the truth. So you see, the people who don't go to church are not the problem, the church and its "good people" are the problem. If they would stop praying, preaching, judging, diagnosing, denying and just simply welcome, that would make all the difference.  This doesn't necessarily mean that people are walking away from faith, it just means faith is more attainable somewhere else. Maybe if the church pulled its praying hands apart, their arms would be open for embracing and welcoming rather than denying.

Occam’s razor (developed by Ockham) is the law of parsimony. It is a problem solving principle which posits that it is pointless to do something with more when it can be done with less.  In other words, simplicity is your best bet. When faced with a decision on which is the most likely strategy to be successful, generally, the most simple choice is the most efficient.

Here is an example of Occam's Razor in my life.  I volunteer for a cable access show each week and it took my predecessor an hour to set up the studio while it only takes me about half an hour.  The difference is when he put away microphone stands and camera tripods he would loosen them, fold them, tighten them then put them in their respective corner.  I would just leave them extended and put them in the corner, saving a significant amount of time setting up and taking down.  They weren't in the way and nobody else used them during the week.  Likewise, all the cables going to the cameras are about 50 feet long and he would unravel them then have to roll them up after the show.  We only need about fifteen feet of cable so I taped up about 35 feet and now I only need to uncoil and roll up fifteen feet.  He would always put out 25 chairs for the audience but if we only have six guests on the show, I only need to put out six chairs.  If they bring a friend, I can always go get another chair.  Simplicity is your best bet.

The church desperately needs to be aware of the law of parsimony.  Especially when it comes to forming committees.  The problem with a committee is that all it takes is for one person to not like an idea or say it can't be done and it probably won't be pursued.  Much worse is to assign a task to someone and they either don't get it done or do it poorly.  Committees usually have a religious agenda, an argument to win, a point to make or a cause to defend and while these may keep the church running, they are also the bane of many a church.  As a member of the staff, my preferred method of work is to meet with the pastor, toss around ideas then implement them. I spend the week talking to people about it, getting their input, researching it, then being a master of delegation, I either call people whom I trust or catch them at Sunday coffee hour and assign them a task.  Implementing deadlines and followup with each person is crucial.  I can get more accomplished in one day than a committee can get done in three months and it is the simplest route.

My pastor once charged me with the task of organizing a haunted house because our church youth group attended one and I commented that we could do better so he said "Then do it."  I researched haunted house ideas, mapped out a route for our three story rectory and spent the year casually gathering materials. Several months later I contacted people and groups in the parish asking them to be responsible for whatever haunting I planned for each room.  Nobody said no, I had over 80 volunteers and the program was a huge success.  Several hundred visitors filed through in a two hour period commenting that it was the best haunted house they've ever visited and we made several hundred dollars from donations.

Showcasing parish leadership was key.  One year the pastor was in an open coffin and the choir served as mourners. I saved flowers from funerals for the whole year and that funeral room was decked out with dead flowers, wailing choir members and creepy organ music.  Another year the pastor and associate pastor's heads were mounted on a fake wall and the secretary, wearing a pith helmet, stood proudly next to her trophy collection.  People came every year just to see what the pastor would be doing in his room.

After I left that parish a lay person took over the haunted house.  With no vision and waiting until the last minute to plan, she formed a committee where anarchy reigned, tempers flew and people who had no idea what they were doing shot down idea after idea.  The haunted house was a disaster, half the rooms didn't have anything in them.  It failed miserably and they never had one again.

Occam’s razor can serve an individual very well also and this is where I think Occam’s razor can come into play for the person who is disillusioned or disgruntled by their church, the institution, the politics or anything else that leaves them yearning for something more: Withdraw your membership. Leave the church, leave the apathy.  Form a small bible study group with family and friends.  You don't need much to run a home church, a bible and a place to sit is all.  Churches are failing across the country and they need to crumble more before we can begin to rebuild.  Many pastors need to get real jobs instead of pretending to serve the community and we need to let the money serving churches fail.  Church people are notorious for worshiping music, buildings, organs, groups, committees, activities and money.  One parish council I sat on discussed the need for attracting new members to the church - to help pay the bills.  That is totally the wrong reason for a church to exist but churches are businesses, institutions, corporations and are run by like minded lay people.  How does growth for the sake of having more money to pay the bills serve the poor, naked, hungry, dying and imprisoned?  So what do you need from a church that you can't find in your living room surrounded by like minded worshipers?  The church needs to be reminded of the commandment “Thou shall have no other Gods before me”.  This is Occam’s Razor at its best. When the church teaches love, joy, forgiveness, death, peace and God, the people will listen.  That is all they need.  Continue with worshiping other things and soon the church will be an empty room.

A big problem in our churches is poor leadership and people who lack vision.  Something I try to do with all my ministry projects is to network to organizations and people out in the community in addition to the diverse organizations within the church.  When I organized the aforementioned haunted house I made sure every organization in the church had a room to haunt, likewise, I invited local community theater organizations to haunt a room.  I asked a funeral home to donate a coffin and a local contractor to build me a working guillotine.  The people who were not part of the church were excited to see their labor being part of something bigger and they even visited the church on Sundays thereafter.  They also never said no to future requests.

I once went to a Christmas party at a home where the host hung foil stars from her ceiling and I thought that would be a good idea for the church.  I asked the pastor if we could decorate the church that way for Christmas and he said if I thought I could pull it off, do it.  I bought 300 various colored and sized stars and spent two days building a fishing line grid then hoisting it up to the ceiling from a ladder.  When I entered the church that Saturday for Mass, I was horrified to see that our forced air heat was causing the stars to wave and twinkle, thinking they would be a distraction.  When people began to arrive for the four o'clock Mass, you could hear the gasps, oo's and ah's as people entered.  The following week attendance grew by 25% at every Mass.  The stars became an annual attraction with many volunteers looking forward in taking part with the hanging them and, the pastor even purchased a lift for the project.  Now I don't know if people joined our church because of that new ministry program but, more fallen away members began attending again because something new was going on.  It also didn't hurt that the pastor used the stars in his homily for weeks to come.  The true success to that program was socializing and networking as I was able to use that program to make contacts for other programs.

At another church I offered a weekly organ recital every Tuesday at noon.  I dropped off a flyer at that new parole shelter and some of the men started attending (probably for the free coffee) and eventually began volunteering to set up, pass out programs and clean up.  They eventually asked the church to use a room for their daily AA and NA classes.  In return they provided electrical, plumbing, carpentry and painting services to the church.  A few of them joined the church, got married and had children.  People often find our churches in the most unexpected ways.  That is why we need to network and be willing to step outside of our comfort zones and areas of expertise and hire people with vision and courage.  Someone may not ever think of approaching an organist to talk to about their problems but if that organist also skis and they encounter them during a coffee hour and begin discussing the new parabolic technology, it opens a whole new dimension of relationship which can be tapped into later.  Like my disgruntled choir member, acorns can become oaks.

A woman found out that I answered a suicide hotline and she joined the choir.  It took her five years to approach and talk to me about her suicidal thoughts.  She said she never wanted to talk to me about her issues, she just wanted to be near someone who would understand and care. It was a "hem of the garment" encounter for her and for her it was all she needed to keep going.

I once inherited a church with a lot of problems. What church does not have problems?  There were three music groups; the traditional choir, the folk group and a youth choir.  There were three directors for each group and they all hated one another and worse, they planted the seeds of hate among their individual membership.  I met with each of the directors asking them what their vision for the parish was and I remember the folk group director said "Vision?  I just come in and play every Sunday.  What do I need vision for?"  So I created programs where no group had ownership but all three could participate in, together.  It took about five years before wounds began to heal and I'd say it took fifteen years before all hate was abolished. The secret wasn't in creating musical opportunities for them to participate in.  It was in the creation of non-musical activities for them to socialize in where they discovered one another outside of what they were competing with.  I organized a Living Stations of the Cross service and asked a few members from each group to participate by writing and reading personal meditations based upon an assigned station. When they heard testimony about each others fears, pains and struggles, they began to see each other for who they really were: broken and frail human beings.  When I saw them spending time together at the coffee hour, I knew healing had begun. Soon they began attending each other's concerts and Masses.

Judgmentalism, ostrcisation, fear, anger and separation slowly and insidiously breeds distance.  A woman in adultery, a doubting follower, a rebellious prodigal, a person with a record, a demon-riddled young man with substance abuse issues or mental health issues; they all need a Church which will love them, nothing more.  People who are hurt and confused feel God's love when they are cared for. They take shelter in God's love when they look with gratitude at all the beauty they see.  A church who offers all that, they will feel it too. So if their problems are growing like a bacteria, if their money problems are a concern, if they lack vision and membership is falling, they have nothing to lose by embracing grace, mercy and forgiveness and everything to gain.  Like someone caught in a rip tide, they need to stop flailing, take a deep breath and just float.  Like the boy in the story about Jesus feeding the 5,000, they must offer all they have.  Like the people in my church who left through the back door because a parole shelter moved next door, God provided and more people entered through the front door.

God works through people. The church moves forward rhythmically like a clock ticking. The key is to remember, it’s the Lord’s church. Churches should focus on this truth. When they do, time heals wounds. Conflict embraces resolution. Anger gives way to joy. Emptiness surrenders to fullness.  But first we need to forgive and not judge. Is the church willing to do that?

Society is becoming more enlightened and many good people recognize that they are sinners and are still searching for a place where they can be known and belong. A place where it feels like God lives, and the people of that church are the ones who can show it to them.  Maybe we do live in a sinful, deviant and disbelieving society but it is those people whom the church is supposed to be reaching out to.  So, for the love of God; reach.  Step out into the neighborhoods around you and partner with the amazing things already happening in the secular world and all the beautiful stuff God is already doing there.  As C. S. Lewis once said, "We're going to be really surprised who actually makes it to heaven."

Halloween Organ Recital Q&A

When?  Before everyone else, on October 18th, 3:00 p.m.  2015

Where?  Trinity Lutheran Church, 42 Guy Park Ave, Amsterdam, NY 12010 (the United States one, not the other one where pot is legal).

Is there a Cost?  Only my blood, sweat and tears.  All others, free.

Will there be refreshments?  I wouldn't play otherwise.

Is the church handicap accessible?  Yes, there is a spacious elevator located on the parking lot side entrance. If need be, I will carry you up the stairs (I've done it before). Watch the end of the demo video, I show you how to find it.

What kind of organ are you playing?  It is a newly installed three manual tracker, built by a local builder. There will be a dedicatory recital in the upcoming months.  Come to find out when and all the other pertinent deets.

I hate organ recitals, they are boring, arcane, esoteric, stuffy, recondite and they all sound alike.  What are you playing?  I hate organ recitals, too.  I will be playing the ubiquitous, standard "scary" organ music such as the Chopin Funeral March, Bach's (sic) Toccata and Fugue in D Minor, Boëllmann's Toccata  plus a few novelty songs and pieces arranged by me.

The organ is currently lounging in it's summer tuning estate but, here is a demo video of me at my first practice session getting to know the instrument and finding my arm weight. Here I demonstrate the en chamade and the full organ (which distorted my camera's microphone).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lldWqEhIkbs

See you then.

-Malcolm (The pastor wants a bio) Insert pretentious crap about myself here)).

Malcolm, a true Capricorn, is actually not funny. He is just really mean and people think he is joking.  He is a lover of ice cream and a runner - because of all the ice cream.  Malcolm is a Nomad in search for the perfect burger and is an especially gifted napper with killer abs (want proof, check out "Mount Baker Glacier Clips."  Do not judge him before you know him, but just to inform you, you won't like him.  He is not on Facebook and most likely wouldn't friend you anyway so this is all you are ever going to get.  Malcolm feels sad for seedless watermelons because, what if they wanted babies?  The humanity.

Church Growth

I have had the privilege of speaking with several pastors recently about church growth or the lack of growth which many churches are experiencing across the country.  Some pastors are looking for gimmicks or programs to attract those who left and also looking for ways to welcome those who have never been.  Others are accepting of their size and diminishing membership and are desirous to settle for being in the service of those who remain.

A predominant reason people say they don't go to church is that they consider themselves spiritual and not religious and that the church is filled with hypocrites.  It is very easy to perceive the church as being filled with people who are "holier than thou."  It is also  very easy for the church to attract or foster people who "protest too much" in an effort to hide their own sinful nature.  It is easy for good people to be judgmental especially if they secretly recognize sinful desire in their own hearts.  On top of that, when some crime occurs in a church, we might discover that the perp was a pillar of the community, a lector, secretary, youth group leader, pastor or Eucharistic minister. 

It is not that the church attracts bad people.  The truth is everyone has the capacity to be a "bad" person.  There was a study by Wallerstein and Wylie where they asked 3,000 NY citizens who have never been arrested about all the things they had done in their lives.  100% of them have committed misdemeanors and were never caught and 97% had committed felonies but have never been caught.  So if you've never been caught, you must be a good person despite the bad things you've gotten away with.

About fifteen years ago I vacationed in Canada with a friend who illegally brought back Cuban cigars and prescription drugs which you couldn't buy in the US but they were available in Canada.  I thought it was very funny that I got flagged for a search and he, a Roman Catholic priest, waltzed right through. 

Today, churches often run background checks on its members in an effort to weed out the sinners.  It is good that they want to make safe sanctuaries but they need to keep in mind that most saints such as St. Paul and even Jesus, a convicted felon himself, would not be welcome in our churches for none of them would pass their background checks.  Part of the problem with organized religion is that it represents only a tiny part of the story and one that is often dangerously dysfunctional at that.

People of adversity find strength within themselves and they think that that has to do with finding meaning.  Instead of finding meaning we should call it forge for meaning for finding and searching are two different things.  Endurance is the entry way to forging meaning and, being accepted into a community is the only place that that can happen.  When we forge meaning we can incorporate that meaning into a new identity and that is what the church needs.  We need to take our faults and traumas and make them part of who we've come to be and we need to fold the worst events of our lives into a narrative of triumph as a response of things that hurt.  Instead the church tries hard to deny this.

I once encouraged a church to start a prison ministry and the response was that they didn't want to attract or associate with those kind of people.  What they failed to realize was that those people were already in the parish as convicted arsonists, drug users, DWI perps, a sex offender and burglar.  A few years later one of their 20 year old boys was arrested for dealing drugs and it still didn't dawn on them that they had the capacity to heal and the healing needed to happen in their own back yard.

When it was found out that I answered a suicide hotline, a woman grabbed me after a church service, broke down in tears and told me that her brother was arrested for committing a sex crime with a teenager, then completed suicide while in jail.  We spoke for quite some time and afterward I told the pastor what had happened so that he could be aware of the situation.  Instead of being compassionate, he became angry that the woman would confide in me and not him.  Of course, this was in a parish who abandoned a former pastor who was arrested on a DWI charge. She never trusted anyone in the parish with her pain and she carried it silently for many years. 

A woman who was raped as a teenager seemingly had her life destroyed.  She dropped out of school, gave birth to the child of the rapist and never went to college or forged a career of her own.  At the age of fifty she was asked if she ever thought of the rapist and she said she did and she felt sorry for him because, he has a beautiful daughter and two beautiful grandchildren and he doesn't know that and she does.  As it turns out, she considers herself the lucky one.  She credits the support and love of her community for the blessings in her life. 

Some things we are born to; our race, a disability, our sexuality, our gender and some are things that happen to us; being a rape victim, a prisoner, a Katrina survivor, a 9/11 survivor.  Religious identity means being able to enter into a church community to draw strength from that community and to give strength there too.  A church community is not for someone to enter in and say "I am here and I hurt," but rather "I hurt and I am here."  But we are ashamed, judgmental and can't tell our stories to the "good people" but our stories are the foundation of identity.

Just as the stories we tell come from our life experiences, our lives can grow from the stories that we tell.  The bible is filled with such stories of healing, joy, forgiveness and com-passion (suffering with one another).  That is the key; one another and, you won't find that on a Facebook page.  Instead, the church looks for ways to attract the wrong people because the church is interested in numbers and money.  If the church's goal is to promote healing and acceptance through pain and struggle, numbers and money will be the symptom thereof.  Currently, that calling is being lived out through social services and other organizations and they are doing a better job than the church is.   So, who needs the church . . .

It isn't solely about changing ourselves but about changing the world.  It doesn't make what is wrong right but makes what is wrong precious and you won't learn that from social services.  The road less traveled is what makes all the difference and the church is abandoning that road.  We can not be ourselves without the misfortune that drives our search for meaning.  "I take pleasure in infirmities," St. Paul wrote, "for when I am weak, then I am strong."  The church is trying to be strong while denying its weakness and driving out people it thinks will make them weak.

Oppression breeds the power to oppose it and that is the cornerstone of identity.  However, you can't change the church if you don't belong to it.  If a church is full of hypocrites, leaving it doesn't change that.  I know a church whose organist was arrested and half the church supported him and half wanted to abandon him.  The church chose to abandon him and eventually all the supporters left and the haters won.  That church's attendance dropped and is currently in danger of closing because - hate begets hate.  If the church chose love and forgiviness, who knows where it would be today. 

Today's church does not know what oppression is because they are doing the oppressing.  If you banish the dragons, you banish the heroes and we've always been attracted to the heroes in our society.  Satan doesn't have to fight the church because he has joined it.  When we shelter our children from adversity, we've failed as parents for it is adversity which trains and teaches children how to prepare and cope for what the real world may throw at them.  Someone once asked gay activist Harvey Milk what they could do to help the cause and Harvey told him to go out and tell someone.  There is always someone who wants to confiscate humanity and there are always stories to restore it but we need people to tell the story.  By banishing sinners the church is denying and forgetting its story and its calling.   Certainly every church will proclaim that it welcomes sinners but watch what happens if a registered sex offender or former murderer would like to join.  Ask Squeaky Fromme what church she is welcome in.

If the church lives out loud, we can trounce hatred and restore everyone's lives.  Then we can truly celebrate who we are and truly see ourselves in a healthy, life-giving, complimentary relationship with creation around us. Forge meaning and build identity then, invite the world to share your discovery and joy.  As the Hollywood axiom goes, "If you build it they will come."  Those who hear may even enter in for, they too have a story they'd like to share if they are brave enough and welcome to do it and then in the process, heal others too afraid to speak up.  The big question is though, does the church want to listen?

Better Late Than Never; Halloween Organ Recital

Do you think organ recitals are long and boring or that organists can be uninspired, uncreative, they play safe or all sound alike?  Are you afraid the music will be stuffy, long haired, or worse - like Sunday church organ music?

Then you should come to this one which I promise will be unique, fun, engaging and filled with surprises.  Come experience "The Scary and Fugal Side of Nursery Rhymes" May 3, 3:00 p.m. at the Foothills United Methodist Church on 17 Fremont Street, Gloversville, 12078.  The price is freeeeeeeee!  So that you won't suffer from organ indigestion, in addition to the organ solos there will be guest singers, singing bowls and instrumentalists.


Here are two samples of what I will be playing (the second half of each video BTW, is of Len Anderson who took my collection of arrangements and improvisations then rearranged each piece for his saxophone quintet):
http://youtu.be/0GMUG7Wr5RA                BINGO in Fugue
http://youtu.be/h-ZWaiXVnLY                     Old MacDonald Had A Farm

Did you know that there are dozens of diseases a human can catch from a lamb?  There are orphan children buried alive in the pillars of the London Bridge?  Ring Around the Rosie is about the plague? The original lyrics to "Ten Little Indians (which is still not politically correct)"  was also racially offensive?  Come discover what other creepy, rapey and phobic topics our joyous childhood songs are really about.

The church is handicap accessible with an elevator but it is squirreled away in a closet.  Here is a short video tour showing where the elevator is hidden within the building:
http://youtu.be/qXO5NFGKo9c

-Malcolm.
After watching his parents murdered by a mugger in a back alley, Malcolm Kogut grew up vowing to become the world's greatest crime . . . wait, that's Batman.  Theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Mr. Kogut stepped into the Quantum Leap accelerator . . . no, that was Sam Beckett.   After being bitten by a radioactive spid . . . uhm, Malcolm suffers from nefelibata.  Truth.

Marijuana; Pros and Cons

Wow, a step in the right direction.  Voters in Oregon, Alaska and Washington, D.C. approved marijuana legalization.  Let's see where it goes from there.

First of all, all our laws against the smoking of pot are a waste of taxpayer resources because the law focuses on a drug that, at worst, only hurts its user.  It is a waste of resources to take people with this one habit, remove them from support systems, their family, and the possibility of rehab, and send them to jail or prison (aka, criminal conditioning and crime school).  By making this drug illegal makes society less safe as it drives the inevitable market underground outside of regulation where dealing it becomes dangerous and promotes criminal enterprises such as gangs, terrorism and people who will stop at nothing to protect their crop.

I support the legalization of marijuana because I know several responsible professionals who secretly smoke recreationally just fine. There are countless professionals and politicians who use it but stay in the closet due to the irrational stigma, and thus the stigma persists as it is associated only with criminals and people with severe and debilitating addiction issues not at all related to marijuana. 

Marijuana should absolutely be made available to people with medical conditions.  I know someone who is severely disabled with a back injury and all his doctor can do is prescribe copious amounts of addictive pain killers with horrible side effects for him.  Many, such as morphine, make him ill and knock him out for hours.  Marijuana, however, allows him to get up, walk around while functioning almost pain free for a couple of hours at a time.  Should he be arrested?

My sister, who died of brain cancer, she refused morphine during her final few months and instead opted for the illegal and criminal use of marijuana for both pain management and to facilitate healthy eating.  Although she never partook in drugs ever before in her life prior to developing cancer, she said "So what if I become addicted to it.  So what if it will give me cancer.  So what if it kills my brain cells.  So what if it decreases my sex drive.  So what if it makes me a sex offender.  At least I can fully and actively spend my last few months on this earth with my family and not vegetated in a morphine induced coma."

Marijuana was first made illegal in the thirties when a man named Harry Anslinger was put in charge of alcohol prohibition.  When the government realized that they were loosing millions in tax revenue and prohibition only created crime (like the marijuana laws do today), they repealed the prohibition.  What they didn't realize is that poor people who couldn't afford the illegal alcohol turned to marijuana as a substitute and discovered that not only was it inexpensive and they could grow their own, but it promoted appetite for the sick, worked much better than prescription drugs for pain relief, and it was a cure for addiction to prescription drugs and was a cure for alcohol addiction.  Not only that but when a person with alcoholism tendencies came home and partook in smoking weed instead of the bottle, he didn't beat his wife and kids, he didn't blow his paycheck, he didn't crash his car, he didn't throw up all over the place, and he didn't get a hang over the next day.  Marijuana was a God-send to those suffering from alcoholism. 

Anslinger teamed up with the generou$ Hearst Corporation, who owned hundreds of newspapers, which were printed on paper made from trees, whose pulp  suppliers were farming marijuana instead of lumber; and he teamed up with the pharmaceutical companies who were seeing a decrease in prescription sales, and the breweries who were seeing a decrease in alcohol sales.  Something had to be done.  So they made marijuana illegal.

Harry Anslinger made up so many lies and exaggerated so many stories about the herb that every time he retold his stories, they became more phantasmagorical.  Anywhere he could connect marijuana to a crime, he would cherry pick the data with rabid and foaming at the mouth discourse and exaggeration.

Since racism was rampant and acceptable back then, he would often use race as a scare tactic.  Harry once wrote:  "Most marijuana smokers are Negroes, Hispanics, jazz musicians, and entertainers. Their satanic music is driven by marijuana, and marijuana smoking by white women makes them want to seek sexual relations with Negroes, entertainers, and others. It is a drug that causes insanity, criminality, and death — the most violence-causing drug in the history of mankind."  "Marijuana and sex, result: Syphilis and pregnancy."

If there was a crime and the smoking of marijuana could somehow be connected to that person in any capacity, he would blame the crime on the marijuana.  Even though music greats such as Billie Holiday and Charlie Parker both died after years of heroin and alcohol abuse, Anslinger blamed their deaths on marijuana.

This mentality still exists today.  In 1986 Reagan Drug Czar Carlton Turner ridiculously claimed that Marijuana leads to homosexuality and ultimately to AIDS.  Given his logic then, so does alcohol.  Why isn't that illegal?  Answer:  $$$$$$ on both fronts.

LaGuardia commissioned a report, called "The LaGuardia Report" which debunked most of the myths about marijuana but the government refused and still refuses to listen to facts.  Alcohol kills tens of thousands every year in car accidents and hundreds of thousands more due to other health complications related to alcoholism.  The Center for Disease Control doesn't even have a category for marijuana because, well, no one ever died from it. 

So, my predominate disgruntlement about this herb being illegal is because we were sold a bill of lies and deceit by the government which in turn destroyed hundreds of thousands of lives, many more collateral lives and cost us billions.  If alcohol was illegal and marijuana was legal, this country would be in a much better estate.

Now, for my cons.  I am a church organist and I know a lot of people who recreationally smoke pot, and that includes a smattering of Roman Catholic priests.  People who smoke pot are quick to say that it augments  and amplifies an experience.  I'm not a smoker so I can't confirm this.  However, I can talk about my experience with other smokers.

I once went on a hike with a few people who took a few hits while out on the trail.  As we walked down a path, one of them commented on the beautiful and glistening foliage on the trees.  It was winter and I told them that there were no leaves on the trees.  She said that the way the sunlight was glistening on the branches, it was as if there were leaves on the trees. 

Further down the trail we walked past a lake and I noticed my companions were "focused" on the trail straight ahead.  When I pointed out the lake to their left, they were amazed that it was there and commented how gorgeous it was and waxed exuberantly about the way the sun glistened off the water and how gorgeous it was.   On our return trip, I told them that we were going to pass by the beach on the lake and one of them asked "What beach?"  It was the one we walked across to get to the trail.  Somehow, their senses were so augmented and amplified, they missed was was in front of them.

My point is, maybe marijuana does augment and amplify the experience but, only in the users' head.  Not in reality.  Likewise, food apparently tastes better while high.  In reality, the flavor of the food doesn't change, only the the smoker's perception of it.  Are the senses heightened?  I don't know.

Here is a link to a Family Guy Episode from season four called "Deep Throats."  In this episode, Lois and Peter resurrect their hippie days as folk singers and they enter a talent contest because, well, they are really good.  Watch the end to see how good they really are. 

Explanation of the Terrorism Video

Americans think that terrorism started in this country on September 11th, it didn't.  It has existed for certain classes and groups of people since we first came to this hemisphere.

The first act of terrorism began with Christopher Columbus who sought to find a faster route from Spain to China.  Instead he landed on the shore of Hispaniola.  Today we call that island the Dominican Republic and Haiti.  Do they still teach in school that he landed on Plymouth Rock?  Your tax dollars at work.

The indigenous people of Hispaniola were the Arawaks whom Columbus and his men raped, murdered and took as slaves.  In his ship's log he thanked and praised God for the gift of human chattel.  He filled his ship's hulls with several hundred Arawak men and took them back to Spain as slaves.  Most did not survive.  Who knew you had to feed them?  He then lied to the Queen, telling her that there was so much gold there (there was none) that he needed dozens more ships. 

When he returned, the Arawaks poisoned their children and committed mass suicide so as not to be raped, murdered and taken as slaves by Columbus and his Christian men.  Hundreds of thousands of native Arawaks died at the hands of Christopher.  Happy Columbus Day.

When more Europeans began to colonize the entire east coast of the country, they encountered other Native American Nations such as the Iroquois, Mohawk, Algonquin, Seneca and many more.  After the white man launched political campaigns to take Native American land, displace the natives and murder them (because they fought back), we pushed westward because it was our God ordained destiny.  Today, the remnants of those aborigine nations live on reservations and we're trying to take those lands, too.  We are starting by creating insidious laws which they must abide by.

When the Puritans came to North America to escape religious persecution, what did they do?  They persecuted other people because of their religion.  They also created witch hunts.  These were successful campaigns because the general population was told that witches abducted, raped, murdered and ate small children.  This was the same tactic Adolph Hitler used to turn his followers against the Jews.  Hitler wrote in Mein Kampf, "The state must declare the child to be the most precious treasure of the people. As long as the government is perceived as working for the benefit of the children, the people will happily endure almost any curtailment of liberty and almost any deprivation."   Most of our fairy tales and nursery rhymes were created around the myth of children being abducted such as Little Red Riding-hood, Hansel and Gretel, the Pied Piper, Snow White, etcetera.

Then there was the enslavement of the Africans.  After their emancipation, Lincoln's second phase was to repatriate all the blacks back to Africa or to off shore islands.  He first needed to set them free because he couldn't repatriate them if they were property.  He freed them but before he could sign the repatriation act to remove the newly freed from the country, he was assasinated and the African-Americans stayed.  African-Americans should celebrate Lincoln not because he set them free, but that he was assasinated before he could eradicate them.  If outright hate and prejudice wasn't bad enough, our entertainment, music and movie industry further perpetuated stereotypes and inequality.

After prohibition failed, many poor people turned to marijuana since they couldn't afford the illegal hooch.  Marijuana was found to be an excellent source of pain relief and even a cure for alcoholism.  Harry Anslinger made it his mission to eradicate marijuana by spreading lies about its efficacy.  Although the lies were disproved by the La Guardia Report, Anslinger used racism to convince society that marijuana was the devil's drug.  He said that when white girls smoke muggles, it results in them seeking sexual relations with black men and the result would be pregnancy and syphilis.  Marijuana causes sane people to go mad and commit murder.  All the lies must be true because Anslinger had the financial support of pharmaceutical companies, the lumber and paper industry, the tobacco industry, the brewery's and the Hearst empire which published Anslingers tales of rabid, foaming at the mouth hysteria in all their papers. 

Despite none of the lies about this miracle herb being true, the fear and confusion about it continues to exist today.  Many prescription drugs come with horrible side effects including difficulty breathing, heart problems, lung problems, liver problems, blood disorders, thoughts of suicide and even death.  Many prescription drugs are also addictive and it is easy to overdose on them.  In case you overdose on Tylenol, Advil, Sudafed, Motrin, Codein or Aspirin, contact Poison Control immediately.  In case you overdose on marijuana, contact Domino's Pizza.  Unlike alcoholics, I've never seen a person who was high on marijuana beat his wife and children.  The only benefit from the marijuana scare Anslinger created is that it filled our jails and prisons which also employ hundreds of thousands of people in every state.

The hatred for homosexuality fueled by religion has been devastating to our country.  Homosexuality and masturbation were considered sinful because those acts did not produce offspring at a time when the Christian population needed to outnumber the Muslim population (Crusades).  Also, people died in their forties so it was imperative that we marry off our 13 year old children as soon as they hit puberty so they could pump out as many children as possible.  Population is no longer an issue so these "sins" are no longer threats to society, but we forgot why we made them sins.   We are still in conflict today  with the Muslim religion though.  Thanks Pope Urban II and the Holy Roman Catholic Church.  You made genocide holy and gave us wars to last for centuries.

I used to volunteer answering both a suicide hotline and the 211 line.  Far too many gay teenagers would call the suicide hotline not because of their sexuality but because of society's response to them.  I mean, even God hates them.   Now when our new Pope tried to get the message out that even homosexuals are welcome in the church, the Synod said no, they are not welcome.  How ironic, the Catholic church is a magnet to gay artists, musicians, sculptors, writers and clergy.  I guess the Vatican should purge its churches and museums of the works of Da Vinci and Michelangelo because they were gay. 

While answering the 211 line, I would get calls from women and kids who were being physically abused, homeless people without a place to go, hungry families without enough food, people without insurance and who couldn't afford medical care, people with insurance but were now addicted to prescription drugs and they often feel that suicide is their only escape.

I then went on to volunteer at a homeless shelter where I discovered that many of the men there have arrest records.  The reason they can't get jobs is that little box ubiquitous to all applications.  Once they check yes on that box, HR disqualifies them as a candidate.  Now, that is illegal in this country and if you were to ask an HR person if they acted out of prejudice  they would say - prove it.  Many will go so far as to drag an undesirable candidate through the process just to give the outward appearance that they don't discriminate.  Ultimately, that applicant won't be qualified or may fail the Meyers-Briggs test or some such excuse.

Now, I love the church but, before you go to church on Sunday, consider the words of St. Vincent de Paul.  He wrote: "If a needy person requires medicine or other help during your prayer time, do whatever has to be done with peace of mind. Offer that deed to God as your prayer. Do not become upset or feel guilty because you use your prayer time to serve the poor. God is not neglected if you leave him for real service. You should prefer the service of the poor to making your prayer. For, it is not enough to love God, if, your neighbor does not also love God."

Fold your hands in a praying position. These are the hands you use to touch the ones you love, hold the things you treasure, perform the constant countless motions of your living. For now, these hands do nothing, they are not useful held this way, kept by each other from all movement of living and serving. Pressed to each other, there is no space for holding anything or anyone. For the moment these hands are empty and still.  Jon Stewart once said, "Prayer is the least thing you can do for someone while still getting to grandstand like you are actually doing something."

So, vote this November.  Not to vote is to vote.  Then call the politicians and tell them why you did or did not vote for them.  GET OFF YOUR BUTT AND DO IT.  Then get out into your community and help people.  After you do that, go to church and pray over it.  If your social convictions don't align with your church institution's teachings or acts of terrorism, find another church and let them know why you are leaving.  Not to act is to act.  Keep in mind, no agnostic ever burned anyone at the stake or tortured a pagan, a heretic, or an unbeliever.   Has your church?  Government?  Have they made amends? 

Homosexuality in the Roman Catholic Church

It's all over the news today; The Vatican recently released a draft of their new document, RELATIO POST DISCEPTATIONEM and it has stirred up quite a firestorm among those on the conservative side of the church and, I think it is rather amusing.

One paragraph within the document states that homosexuals have gifts and qualities to offer to the Christian community. Are we capable of welcoming these people, guaranteeing to them a fraternal space in our communities? Often they wish to encounter a church that offers them a welcoming home. Are our communities capable of providing that, accepting and valuing their sexual orientation, without compromising Catholic doctrine on the family and matrimony?

What is amusing about the backlash against that statement is that homosexuals have been at the forefront of the church since its beginning.  Many of our great artists, painters, composers, musicians, architects, sculptors, writers and clergy were - and even today - are gay.  Start by taking a look at Leonardo da Vinci and his legacy to the Roman Catholic Church.  The church has had no problem accepting and embracing the work of gay people for centuries, including today's current crop of gay liturgical participants, as long as they deny their identity and don't come out.  

There is a national music group of over 10,000 members whose past president is gay, everyone knew, nobody cared.  However, when he married his lover of over thirty years, her was terminated from his position. 

The church teaches that everyone deserves respect, dignity and love and that is not inherent upon anything.  Not on their occupation, race, sexuality, economic situation, looks, education or past.  Everyone is a child of God and made in God's image.  Every sinner has a future and every saint has a past.   However, the church still has a difficult time being forgiving and accepting while protesting too much.

The church is quick to state that homosexuality is not a sin, homosexual acts are, and I'd like to point out that heterosexuality is not a sin, although heterosexual acts outside a marriage are.  Most heterosexual people have committed the same sin as homosexuals.  While both acts may be wrong in the eyes of the church institution, we should always love and respect the person and treat the person with dignity.  Gay or straight.  Sinner or saint.

What is surprising is that most churches have no problem with the homosexuals within their worshiping community and are already welcoming to them.  The people simply don't care or are accepting.  Among the silent majority, they are more surprised by the hateful vocal minority than the fact that homosexuals have been the driving force behind the church for centuries.

This document is calling the church to be more dynamic, merciful and welcoming but, the church already is and has been for the past two thousand years.  The haters are constantly telling God's people what is wrong instead of affirming everything genuine, beautiful and good in God's human project.

Clergy, organists, choir directors, choirs, soloists, liturgists, painters, sculptors, architects, composers, theologians, writers, poets and the people in the pews; gay people are already out there where the church is a magnet for those who wish to express their faith through their art, skill and passion.  For the haters who wish to eradicate the homosexual from the church, they would deny the church the source of its most richest heritage and treasure.  The church, its music, its art, its architecture, its teachings and the beautiful tapestry it is today is because of the many people in the past who self identified publicly or privately as homosexual. 

The church needs to remember why it hates homosexuality.  Fear, rabid foaming at the mouth and hysteria about homosexuality started in the days when people died at the old age of thirty or forty.  In order to build the population for protection, to ensure a work force to feed and shelter its population, and to promote the lineage, girls got married at the age of 13 or so.  Men who engaged in masturbation (the sin of Onan) or homosexual tendencies did not produce offspring so the church declared that those activities which spilled the seed was a sin.  I beleive that the Church Of Latter Day Saints promote families of at least seven children to this day for the same reason - to build a population.  And of course, this was also the foundation for the practice of bigamy.   More wives meant more children and a larger denomination.

When there was a war between Christians and Muslims (the Crusades - which we still feel the aftershocks today), in order to beat the Muslims, Christians needed to outnumber them so the more Christians there were, the bigger army they could build.  More Christians meant bigger armies, bigger churches, more workers and the need for larger territories which meant that in order to seize more territory - war.   Over the centuries we forgot why we hated the idea of not producing children and out of ignorance, the hatred for homosexuality still exists today.  

Looking back, we can see how arrogant, wrong and misguided our hate used to be for groups such as blacks, women, Asians, Irish, Jews and for many Christians, the gays.  While looking back, one has to wonder what was wrong with us.  I suspect in a hundred years or so, people will look back on this issue and wonder the same.  The Roman Catholic church should pay heed lest people look back and wonder, "Catholicism, what was wrong with us?"

I know a lot of people who don't go to church.  Not because they don't beleive in God, but because they don't beleive in the church.  Many of those same people won't shop at Walmart because of its human rights violations.  Those same people won't go to church because of its human rights violations.  You have to wonder which is the more enlightened sect.

“I have observed that the world has suffered far less from ignorance than from pretensions to knowledge. It is not skeptics or explorers but fanatics and ideologues who menace decency and progress. No agnostic ever burned anyone at the stake or tortured a pagan, a heretic, or an unbeliever."
- Daniel J. Boorstin .

Buxtehude's Daughter, a Cantata

Buxtehude's Daughter is a spoof cantata written by Tom Savoy and Byron Nilsson about the true story of Buxtehude, his daughter and Bach.   In October of 1705, Bach, at the age of 20, secured a one month leave to go hear a musician of considerable reputation.  Bach proceeded to walk over 250 miles from Arnstadt to Lubeck to hear the famed Buxtehude perform one of his weekly recitals and, was so impressed that he forgot to go home and he stayed for four more months, greatly offending his superiors at his home church. 

The aging Buxtehude was retiring and seeking someone to take over his directing position at the Marienkirche.  The catch was that Buxtehude would only offer the job to the applicant who would marry his daughter.  She was not young (over the hill at 30), not pretty, and perhaps did not posses much of a personality. At any rate, her father was having difficulty marrying her off.  Other famed applicants for the position included Handel and Mattheson but the thought of marrying the daughter was too high a price to pay. Apparently, when sacrificing for your art, there are certain sacrifices that are too costly.  The practice of offering a daughter as part of the "benefits package" was not uncommon in those days as Buxtehude himself married the daughter of Franz Tunder, his predecessor.

When Bach eventually returned to his home church in Arnstadt, fireworks ensued.  The "minutes" of a meeting to which Bach was called to explain himself still exist today.  Bach was accused of "making music" with a "stranger lady" and he was even accused of inviting her up into the choir loft.  This was a time when women weren't allowed to sing in the choir and it was a serious breech of etiquette to make music with one.  What would the congregation think?  Not that church people are ever prone to gossip.

Buxtehude did eventually find a successor and son in law; Johann Christian Schieferdecker won the position.  He was a little-known composer who was an accompanist and composer at the Hamburg opera.  Schieferdecker also served as Buxtehude’s assistant shortly before the master died.

The Musicians of Ma'alwyck;
Join us for a wonderful afternoon of delightful, funny songs with Byron Nilsson, Amy Prothro and Malcolm Kogut, paired with the spoof cantata Buxtehude's Daughter and then enjoy a delicious champagne dessert buffet generously prepared and donated by Randy Rosette. Songs of Flanders & Swann, Stephen Sondheim, Noel Coward and others followed by Tom Savoy's and Nilsson's hysterical take on the surprise requirement attached to accepting the position as Buxtehude's successor.  Musicians of Ma'alwyck and Byron Nilsson and friends join together to present Songs to Amuse, Sunday, October 5th at 2pm.  First Unitarian Universalist Society in Albany hosts us in this special fundraiser.  An afternoon not to be missed and a great way to support Musicians of Ma'alwyck. Tickets are $35 per person and available at rwww.musiciansofmaalwyck.org

Ageism and Theism, Together

This blog entry will certainly rile up some of my more zealous Christian friends but, please don't read this as an attack on religion but, an exploration on how Ageism and Theism go hand in hand.  It wouldn't be the first time my writing or dry sense of humor got me in trouble.  I was on an interview once and the name of my first organ teacher came up.  I commented how I hated him, fully expecting someone on the interview committee to ask why.  They moved on, thinking that I actually hated him.  In truth, he was the best teach I ever had because he challenged me and made me work my lazy bumper off.  I am still learning from his lessons 30 years later. I didn't get the job - I hate them . . . They didn't pay very well, anyway. 

We are currently living in the time/space between the current Age of Pisces and the forthcoming Age: the Age of Aquarius.  To understand an Age, we have to go back and look at both history and science. 

There are twelve Ages which many of us know as the Zodiac Signs (one for each constellation of the zodiac).  Each Age lasts approximately 2,160 years.  All twelve Ages in succession are known as The Great year which lasts about 26,000 of our calendar years.   The earth actually spins in a gyrating motion that changes very slowly the direction of the polar axis (think of a toy top that wobbles as it spins).  The earth makes a full circle in the 26,000 years which is known as the Precession.  Many astrologers call this the “Great Polar Cycle” which encompasses 25,868 years as the North Pole aligns successively to a series of stars or constellations (Zodiac Signs).

Those of you old enough to know what a phonographic record is, think of the precession as a single record album with 25,000 grooves.  Every 2,000 grooves is a new song.  The whole record is the precession and every song is an age, each flowing seamlessly into one another.  Some Ages are thought to be a little longer or shorter than others but at this point I'm not sure if anyone knows for sure.  Currently, for the next 300 years or so, we are in-between two Ages.  The earliest recorded Age for man is the Age of Leo, so, let's start there.

The Age of Leo; Approximately 11000 B.C. - 8000 B.C.
Around this time the snow of the Ice Age begins to melt and the global climate begins to warm up.  During this time humans began worshiping the Sun, the ruler of the fire sign, Leo; because obviously a god was melting all that ice.  Culturally there were dozens of Sun-Gods at this time as the planet began to get warmer and wetter.  This period was also known as the Stone Age.

The Age of Cancer; approximately 8000 B.C. – 6500 B.C.
From the fire sign of Leo to the water sign of Cancer there were floods! Where do you think all that ice went?  Around 8000 B.C. is thought to be the time when the great floods that are mentioned in almost every major culture occurred.  Sun-worship was replaced by Moon-worship as many cultures became aware of how the Moon affected the rising and falling of the water or tides. The sign Cancer was associated with the archetype of the Great Mother, which deals with the womb, bearing, birthing, nurturing, protecting, and domestic life.  During this time animals began to be domesticated. The Great Mother was feared during this age and even today, we still fear her.  We call her Mother Nature as she can be both life giving and relentlessly destructive in the form of hurricanes, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, floods or drought.

Around the end of this Age we domesticated many animals (in part, thanks to Noah who saved them from the flood), invented the wheel, weaving, working with metal and increased our survival skills and began to fear Mother Nature less and less as we were better able to protect ourselves from her wrath, giving birth to intellectualism.

The Age of Gemini, Approximately 6500 B.C. - 3750 B.C.
Humans begin writing and drawing and discover the god of Mercury or Hermes.  In Greek mythology, these were the gods of communication. The world began to flourish with communication, language (babble) and knowledge.  As languages developed, so did oral traditions. It is believed that though the first books of the Old Testament were not written down until around 1000 B.C. at the time of Solomon, the oral traditions of creation stories like The Garden of Eden were actually created during the Age of Gemini.  Gemini also gave us the consciousness of duality: The Garden of Eden and the Tree of Knowledge containing the duality of Good and Evil, Life and Death, Adam and Eve - duality of sexes, choice and consequences, rational and irrational.  In this Age, God and Nature were being separated and we became farming communities rather than nomads.  We also began building places of worship.

The Age of Taurus; approximately 4000B.C-1800 B.C.
The symbol of Taurus is a lot of bull.  Cities began to spring up.  The sign of Taurus is associated with agriculture, money, banking, law, real estate and property and all matters dealing with ownership.

Mortal man wishing to preserve order created god-like figures dispensing cruel justice and we found ourselves worshiping a number of bull gods.  Apis, who presided over the underworld.  Ra, the Bull of Heaven; Osiris  the Bull of Earth; Nut, the Sky Goddess with cow’s ears; Hathor the Cow Goddess, crowned with horns; Bulchis the Bull of Thebes; Poseidon, Bull of the Sea; Zeus, the Bull-ravisher of Europa who fled over the Taurus mountains; and,most notably, the Minotaur, which was the offspring of Poseidon’s white bull and Pasiphae, wife of King Minos on Crete.

The bull symbol (Golden Calf) was  replaced in the next Age by Moses, the bull-slayer; and ushered in the Age of Aries and the Ram-God Yahweh.

The Age of Aries, Approximately 1800 B.C. - 360 AD
Humans began to consolidate their gods and monotheism was born.  Aries is ruled by Mars, the God of war.  During this Age, the Greeks gave us Homer, Hesiod, Achilles, Hercules, Jason (who sought the Golden Fleece!), Theseus (a bona-fide bull-slayer!), Mithras who is depicted in statues as plunging a dagger into a bull and, Odysseus.  Also Alexander the Great who, inspired by Homer, conquered most of the known world during this Age.

Moses did much more than just blow a ram's horn and liberate his people from Egypt.  In condemning the worship of the golden calf (Taurus), he symbolically declared a new age had begun. An age that needed something to guide humanity:  The Ten Commandments.

The Age of Aries also brought us the great teachings of Lao Tzu, Confucius, Gautama Buddha, Socrates, Plato and Aristotle, opening the door for the next Age to enter.

The Age of Pisces; approximately 360 A.D. – 2400 A.D
The symbol for Pisces is the fish and this Age brought us Jesus.  Jesus Christ taught new laws to govern our development as human beings and at the heart of his teachings was the idea that we should seek to love each other, we should love our enemy, and turn the other cheek, he taught us that we were one (a Piscean theme) and our enemy is simply a mirror of ourselves. To hate someone else, then, is to hate yourself.

It is interesting that many fundamentalist Christians claim to be followers of Jesus–the great teacher of forgiveness and compassion, but find it more productive to judge, condemn, hate, and try to convert others.  Christ taught that all one needed was the inner church (Soul).  The Kingdom of Heaven is not over there, not up there, not under there but, in us and around us.  If only we could open our eyes and see it. Maybe in the next Age we will.

The Pisces Age unleashed some the most devastating wars and conflict in the history of man such as witch hunts, the Crusades, the Inquisition, the never ending conflict between Muslims and Christians, nuclear bombs, world wars and so much more, all under the banner of Christianity.  The world became a dangerous place, not because of those who did evil, but because of those who looked on and did nothing.

This is the age that when someone breaks a law, we lock them up in places where kindness is rare and considered weak.  Wouldn’t it seem more reasonable to put law breakers in a place which cherishes kindness, reminds them of how important it is and affords them opportunities to develop and express it?

Toward the end of the Age of Pisces, we see social activism begin to take hold (especially during the 1960's).  Concern for the planet and all living creatures, humanitarianism and the struggle for the healing of wounds and division.  Death leading to rebirth, acceptance, tolerance and awakening are all part of the theme.  All this is leading into the next Age.

The Age of Aquarius; approximately 2400 A.D. – 4600 A.D
There isn't much to say about this Age since it is not here yet, but, this Age will be the Age of Enlightenment and the symbol is the Water Bearer.  I find it interesting that the planet is being plagued by dramatic weather changes, warming, flooding, polar melting, tsunamis, increased hurricanes, tornadoes and devastating super storms.  

Humans strive to avoid struggle and pain. We spend so much energy trying to avoid negativity and trying to create positivity, even if it’s synthetic, that we miss the point that each of us is like the movie character Indiana Jones.  At the moment we may awaken to being here at all, we may say, “What’s life about?"  At that moment we are the heroes of this classic, timeless, spiritual adventure.  We already know the movie is going to end, so the point is not to live forever, but it’s to be heroic and enlightened.  Enlightenment is seeing what in our belief system is not working. But to perceive the world differently, we must be willing to change our belief system, let the past slip away and expand our sense of now.  We should strive to leave each person and each place a little better for our having been there.  Simple.

This Age is supposed to bring the restoration of the Garden of Eden, the Golden Age of globalization where we all become citizens of the world.  Maybe we will discover that there is only one religion: God.  A Hindu who rejects Christ won’t find it.  A Christian who rejects Buddha won’t find it.  It is predicted that Aquarius is to be the Age of the Second Coming.  Maybe, instead of a world leader, a master teacher, or a messiah, maybe, just maybe, in this coming Age of Enlightenment, we’ll discover that we are the ones we’ve been waiting for.

In the words of an ancient Sanskrit greeting and farewell, "I bow to the Divine within you."